Week 29

How far along: 29 weeks (as of 8.22.15)

Gender: It's a GIRL!

Baby is: The size of

Weight gain: 30ish pounds.  Oy vey.  I'm not swelling this time and my weight game is exactly the same as it was with Hudson at this point!  

Maternity clothes: Oh yes.  The belly is large this time and I've grown out of most of my summer maternity clothing.

Stretch marks: Nadda.

Belly button in or out: Bizarre.  Just bizarre.  It's not fully popped, but it's close.  I wish I could go back and tell my 16 year old self not to get my belly button pierced because it is just going to look all nasty when pregnant.

Sleep: Not the best.  I wake up the normal 4-5 times to go to the bathroom.. and I just can't seem to get comfortable because I'm always hot!

Best moment this week: Our second try at a 3D/4D ultrasound proved to be successful!  E was not cooperative last week and not only was turned toward my spine, but also had her face squished into the placenta.  She was still using the placenta as her pillow this week, but she opted to give us a few smiles, frowns, and even a yawn.  She is active, but not as active as Hudson was.  Her movements are more like rolls at this point as they believe she is a little above average in size.  Matt and I both think she looks like me and has some resemblances of Hudson as well.  Oh, and the tech said she had a good amount of hair, too!  I can't wait to see what she looks like next to Hudson on the outside.

Movement: She is relatively active - just not as active as Hudson was.  Her movements are much more pronounced after I eat or drink ice water.  Homegirl loves ice water.  She keeps moving positions (head down, breach, sideways) which leads to big rolling movements.

Cravings: Chocolate.  Give me all of the chocolate.

Queasy or sick: Feeling good!  

Looking forward to: So many things to look forward to.  Her nursery is 99% finished. We just have to move the glider from Hudson's room to her room and it is done.  She has an abundance of clothes, but I haven't washed any because I want to be able to return things that don't fit - if that happens.  I also need to sterilize her new bottles.  We have a few more things to pick up and then we are completely ready for Miss E's arrival.  I'm also looking forward to a mini family vacay coming up.  Nothing major, just a few days at the beach before I am cut off from travel and before summer officially comes to an end. Speaking of, I'm ready for that.  The heat sucks and I'm over it.  I'm ready for fall temps, pumpkin spice scents all over the place and sweatshirts.  And sweatpants.  Give me everything sweats.  And of course, looking forward to her arrival in 10ish short weeks!

MIA

Yes, you will hear me say it again.  I've been MIA.  Yes, things have been busy.. but not busy enough that I couldn't blog.  I've been MIA because I'm just not sure what to say and write anymore.

When I initially started this blog, I did it with the intentions of updating our infertility journey and sharing it strictly with family.  No one else knew about it and no one else had access.  Slowly, I started to take away parts of the privacy settings.. and eventually I made my blog public and shared it on my Instagram account - where I had become an active member of the TTC community.  I was able to connect to other women going through the same struggles I was.  I was able to identify with them.

I continued to document our journey.  Three full IVF cycles, a miscarriage and a failure.  Again, slowly I began to add different posts here and there.. but it always came back to infertility.  Eventually, I documented my entire pregnancy with Hudson.  Week by week.  Photos, details of the week, how I was feeling.. everything.  And I enjoyed it.  Week 38 rolled around and I gave birth to Hudson one day before week 39 hit.  I documented his birth story.. and an update here and there.

But truthfully, I haven't known what to write since he's been born.  I "crossed" the bridge of no longer being infertile - sort of.  I beat infertility.  I have a healthy, happy soon.  But that title is something that never leaves you.  The struggle is something you never forget.  Still, I felt somewhat out of the loop.  I didn't have cycles to blog about, appointments, injections, etc.

Then February rolled around and I learned that I was pregnant with our surprise baby number two.  No treatments.  No cycles.  100% natural - even though we were given a 1.5% chance of that actually happening.  God answered our prayers and it did happen.  Baby number two will be here in 10ish short weeks.

But this pregnancy has made me feel even more out of the loop.  I feel like an outsider to the group that I have grown so fond of.  "Friends" made hurtful comments about having a natural pregnancy and no longer being infertile.  And so, I backed off.  You may see five posts on my Instagram about this entire pregnancy.  You will find about the same number of weekly belly photos.  And blog posts?  Well.. you find one.  A short announcement.

Truthfully, I haven't known what to say.  I didn't know what path to travel with my blog.  I know how it feels to still be waiting for a miracle.  We waited, too.  I know how it feels to watch others have baby number one, two, three.. and so on.  And I don't want to be one of those people who causes pain to others.  So, I haven't posted.

I've done a lot of thinking about this lately.  One of my cousins said she missed seeing the weekly updates.. and it made me realize that I still want to share.  I want to post - but in a way where I'm not hurting others.  So, here is my plan.  This blog will be about life - my life.  My family, our experiences, our adventures.. us.  It may come with a name change somewhere down the line, but for now I'm keeping it the same.  If this is something that does not interest you, I will not have hurt feelings if you click the "unfollow" button.  I know what it's like.

So, here's to hoping for more updates and more posts in the future!

Life Lately

It's busy.  I've neglected the blog - to spend time with my family and enjoy every summer moment with Hudson.  Life is so different with a mobile toddler!

So, what has been happening.  SO MUCH!

First, school ended and summer vacay started.  This is proving to be our best summer yet!  We left for our annual beach vacation two days after school was out - and it was just what we needed.  Two wonderful weeks of family time, beach, sun, surf, waves, pool, and relaxation.  We traveled to the Outer Banks and spent our usual two weeks in Duck.  We opted for a different house this year since our family is growing - and it was perfect!

Hudson loved the sand and the waves.. but his heart was at the pool.  He is my little fish and would swim all day if we let him.  Unfortunately, too much pool time ended in a trip to urgent care for our first double ear infection.  Poor guy was in so much pain.  Thankfully, two antibiotics and 24 hours later, our little guy was back - with a hoarse voice from all of the screaming!

We were also able to celebrate Hudson's first birthday and Matt and I's third anniversary at the beach with our family!  We ordered him a cake and did a little cake smash on the beach after a fun filled beach and pool day.  Hudson wasn't quite sure how to feel about the cake, but he eventually enjoyed playing in it.

As usual, our vacation quickly came to an end and we headed back home.  It was nice to see our pups!  The following weekend we formally celebrated Hudson's birthday with his party.  The weather wasn't the greatest, so we have to move things to the garage.. but it turned out great!  Once again, cake wasn't his favorite.. but he did enjoy all of the attention and his cozy coupe!

Since the end of June, life has been pretty crazy.  Our days are packed full of playing inside in the ball pit, tunnel or tool bench, swinging on the awesome swing set, cruising around in the cozy coupe, building with blocks, attempting to find foods that Hudson likes, and house projects.  We painted an accent wall in our living room to brighten things up since we installed new carpet.  We also cleaned out the baby's room and painted the nursery! (More on that in the next post.)  We have plans to go get furniture next week and start actually preparing the room.

I am loving this summer.  I love spending every minute possible with my little guy.. and being able to watch him learn and grow.  He is taking some solo steps here and there.. but still prefers to hold on to things to get around.  Honestly, I think he will be walking on his own very soon.  We are still trying to figure out what he likes to eat.  He wants real food, but has issues with textures.  He LOVES pouches and crunchies.. and those have been life savers. He's pretty much surviving off of grilled cheese, bagels, chicken nuggets, french fries, watermelon, blueberries, yogurt, and apple jacks.  Hey.. whatever works at this point!

As you can read, we have been busy.  But it's a good busy!  Stay tuned for a bump update and an awesome discount!

It's official

I've become an awful blogger.  It's been over a month since I promised to better keep up with my blog.  I will say that I feel like I've had a pretty good excuse.. or two.

So, let's catch up.  Life has been pretty crazy busy these past few months.  Hudson is growing like a weed and is now mobile.  Let me tell you.. mobile babies are a whole different world!  I love it!  He is quick and gets to where he wants to go in a flash, but it is so much fun seeing him grow and learn.  The amount of stuff he learns in a such a small amount of time truly amazes me.

He just turned 11 months this week.  He is crawling all over the place, pulling himself up and taking steps along the couch and ottoman.  He holds on to his walk along toy and buzzes across the room like he's been doing it his whole life.  He is a talker.  He says dada, daddy, dog, doggy, woof, hi, hey, this, and go.  Nine words already!  He babbles like crazy and seems to have conversations all of the time.  He will wave and say hi to anyone and everyone he sees when we are out in public.  He claps, pushes cars all around, throws ball with Rooney, plays in the dog's water dish, and loves to pet the dogs.  Another favorite past time of his is opening up any drawer he can get to and empty it out.  He's basically a pro and should make a job out of it.  As far as food, he still somewhat likes to eat.  We have started to give him milk and he is a huge fan.  We are about half and half at this point and hoping to be completely off formula by the time we go on vacation.  He still prefers purees and has a difficult time with real food.  He loves bagels, french fries, toast, pizza bites, watermelon.. and that's about it.  Every once in a while I can get some grilled cheese in him.  Otherwise, he hates real food.  I'm pretty sure that the dogs have packed on about 10 pounds since we started trying real food.  He would seriously live off of Gerber Crunchies if I'd let him.. and he screams for them.  I'm kind of at a loss of what to do right now.  He needs to eat to grow, but he doesn't want to eat.  He wants real food when he sees it, but won't actually eat it.  Like I said, I am still getting some purees in him, so that is good.  We will see what happens over the next month or so.

With 11 months came the little guy's first haircut!  He now looks like a little man!  I seriously cannot get over it!  He did such a good job.. and so did Miss Mallorie!  Of course we distracted him with crunchies and the sound of a razor.. but the whole thing was done in about five minutes.  I seriously cannot believe that my little boy is old enough for his first haircut!

The other thing that has kept me away from my blog is lacrosse season.  I got the head varsity coaching position this year and with that came so many time consuming events.  That meant all of the dirty work was on me.  Holding practices, tryouts, selecting teams, coordinating practices, coaching every game, etc.  It was a long, tiring, hectic and somewhat stressful season.  The season officially ended with our banquet last week, so I have some more time on my plate now.  Not a ton as it is the end of the school year and there are a ton of shenanigans that come with that, but some.  School ends this week, so life will calm down a little bit more!  

I am looking forward to summer for so many reasons.  I'm hoping to get back into my blog, spend time with family, do some work on the house (painting), keep up with our garden.. and most importantly, spend time with my growing boy!  I am so looking forward to endless playing this summer!

Here's to hoping for more regular updates.. maybe even a gender reveal for baby number 2 :)

Happy Monday, all!

Easter weekend recap

It has happened.  I have officially turned in to the worst blogger in the world.  It's been almost two months since I've posted.  So, rather than recapping those two months, I'm just going to start off with our Easter weekend.

We traveled to my parents' house to spend the holiday weekend with my family.  We had a relaxing day Friday, colored eggs Friday night, had a mini photo shoot Saturday, and dinner with my Grandparents Saturday night.

Hudson enjoyed smashing the whisk all over and basically throwing the eggs around.  That's about it.  I'm just glad he enjoyed it!

When Hudson woke up Sunday morning, he saw that the Easter bunny had some to visit him and brought him all of the goodies he needs for our beach vacay this summer.  Swim outfits, shades, beach towel, pool raft, and of course some bubbles!

As dapper as he looked, he HATED his sport coat.  Typical boy :)  And our family picture is not the best - but it's the only one we got where Hudson wasn't squinting into the sun.. so I'll take it!

Hudson also got a pretty big and exciting gift from the Easter bunny.  He found out that he is going to be a BIG BROTHER!  We are so blessed and excited to announce that our family will be growing by one this fall.

He started out with a huge smile, and ended with a "hold up.. wait, what?"  haha

We really truly are blessed to be expecting this little miracle.  I will probably not do weekly posts this time around as this little guy takes up a lot of my time - and I love it.  But I will try and do some posts here and there to keep you all updated.  We thank you again for all of your love and support and for following us on this journey we call life!

Happy (late) Easter, everyone!

Valentine's Day

Ok, so I am only four days late to the game on this one.. but as I always say, better late than never.

Hudson's first Valentine's Day was so much fun!  He dressed for the occasion, had his fourth date with the beautiful Miss Adalynn, spent his evening with Aunt Abby.. and slept like a champ due to his exhausting day.

Here are a few pictures to document the day.

Date number four didn't get off to the best start.  Hudson growled at Ady and made her cry.  And then he cried.  Too cute not to snap a picture.

I could forgo all gift and buy this kid strings and tissue paper and he'd be as happy as a clam.

Happy late Valentine's Day, everyone!

**Be Mine shirt courtesy of my good friend, Ashley, and her shop - a Wise Creation.  Check her out on IG and Facebook.**

Sometimes I think.

Sometimes I think too much.  I'm a type A personality.  My mind goes a thousand miles a minute.  When I can't sleep, I literally lay in bed and think about the million and one things I need to do the next day or should be done over the next week/month/year (yes.. THAT much).  I have gotten to the point where I make lists upon lists on my phone at 2 am.  I wish I could turn it off, but I can't.  It's just not possible.

Lately, my mind has been racing with "what-ifs".. specifically one what-if.  Moving.  

Almost ten years ago (it honestly seems like yesterday) I moved to the town we live in now - for a job.  Little did I know that I would still be here ten years later.  Ten years ago, I couldn't wait to get out of dodge.  You see, I grew up in the middle of nowhere.  I'm talking town population of 500 (maybe?), graduating class of 94 students (no middle school folks.. K-6 in elementary and 7-12 in high school), no football team (the horror), and not a single stop light.  I hated it growing up.  Constantly whining that "there was nothing to do".  I moved as soon as I graduated college.  And I loved it.

Fast-forward a few years.  Matt and I started dating and within a year and a half we moved in together, got engaged, got married and started trying to have babies.  Soon after getting married we put a contract on a brand new house.  This house is in a prime location, includes a good chunk of land, and would be our forever home.  Six months later, we finally closed on our old home and moved into our beautiful new home.  

If you've been following my blog long enough, you know that the baby making did not go as planned and took longer than anticipated.  Regardless, a year and a half later we were lucky enough to welcome Hudson into our lives and fill one of our empty bedrooms.  

I never really believed people when they told me things would change after you become a mother.  Your priorities change (duh) and your whole perspective on life changes. To those people, I say I'm sorry.  Everything does change.

Now, I question if this house is our forever home.  I question if this town is where we want to spend the rest of our lives.  (Matt and I have had this discussion, so I am grouping us together as "we", but these are more my thoughts.)  I question if this is really where we want to raise Hudson.

Why all of the questioning?

It's simple.  I miss my family.  I miss the place I used to call home.  My mom (and the rest of my family - including my grandparents) is such a huge help with Hudson when she can be.  But it's difficult because they all live two hours away.  Now, I know that is technically  not far and that there are families that are much farther apart in distance.  But, it's far for me.  It's not easy to make a day trip with a baby and two dogs.  It's impossible to just meet for dinner once a week.  I miss being able to do a short shopping trip on a Saturday afternoon or go to church together on a Sunday morning.  I would love to be able to send my mom a text on a random Wednesday night and say, hey, want to come over for dinner?

But at this point, none of that is possible.

Don't get me wrong, again.. I love where we live.  We are blessed with good jobs/careers.  We have great friends here.  We have a beautiful home that is within 45 minutes of some very fun areas/cities.  But I just feel like there is a void.  Something is missing.  There is just something about having your family around you.  I want my son to be able to grow up surrounded by his family.  I want him to be able to have a Friday night sleepover at GiGi and PopPop's.  I don't want to have to plan weekends for what seems like visitations.  But I also don't want to lose what we have with our home.  With our jobs.  With our friendships.  With our location.  You see?  I'm torn.

Our jobs are difficult.  We both have master's degrees and have been teaching for numerous years and therefore we are "too expensive" for other districts to hire.  With the economy the way it is, school districts will hire a new college graduate over and experienced teacher because they are "cheaper" salary wise.  It's also more difficult for me because I teach an elective subject and those jobs are now hard to come by - thank you state standardized testing and NCLB.  Politics.  I digress..

Then we have our home.  It's only two years old.  Do we have enough equity in it?  Will we be able to sell it for a price we need?  We will be able to sell the second (rental) home that we own?  Will either sell in a short amount of time?  Will we be able to find a home that meets our expectations in my hometown area?  Who knows.  

So for now we continue with life as we know it.  We constantly weigh the pros and the cons.  We enjoy where we live and we do the best that we can to make things work.  And I constantly think about the "what-ifs".  What if moving is the better option?  What if moving ends up being a mistake for one reason or another?  What if..