Week 26

How far along: 26 weeks (as of 3.22.14)

Gender: It's a BOY!

Baby is: The size of a head of lettuce.. about 14.8 inches long and about 1.5-2.5 pounds.

Weight gain: 21 pounds as of my last OB appointment.  

Maternity clothes: All day, every day.  If I could live in leggings, I would.

Stretch marks: Nadda.

Belly button in or out: In.

Sleep: I still fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.  However, I wake up at some point between 12 and 2 and cannot fall back asleep for at least an hour or two.  I am feeling completely exhausted.  I really didn't know that lacrosse would make me as tired as it has been.  The long days are really starting to get to me.  

Best moment this week: My best moment this week isn't exactly baby or pregnancy related.  I had 3 games this week and two 2.5 hour practices.  When I got home from school and practice on Thursday, I found that Matt had cleaned the ENTIRE house from top to bottom.  He has also been cooking every night and doing laundry.  This is a HUGE help and I can't thank him enough.

I also loved washing baby clothes over the weekend and hanging them in his closet/organizing them in his drawers.  His room is really starting to come together!

Movement: He is very active most days.  However, he does have a day here and there where he is just extra sleepy and does not move near as much.  I am also on the move a lot more than what I was used to, so I am sure that has an impact as well.

Cravings: Spice is out as it now gives me major, major heartburn!  I have been loving carrots and ranch veggie dip this week.

Queasy or sick: Feeling good!  

Looking forward to: So many exciting things in the next month or so!  Maternity photos, our elective ultrasound, the birth of some very special babies, and a three day weekend for Easter!

These two want to be in his room constantly.. smelling everything!  Trying to get them to sit for a picture is pretty much impossible!

Huggies and Chuggies

As I was perusing Pinterest a few months ago, I came across some pins about Huggies and Chuggies parties.  I did a little more investigation, and decided I definitely wanted to host one of these parties for Matt.  Even though he has not been the one receiving the daily injections, getting daily blood work, having up close and personal appointments with Mr. Wandy, etc., he was still busting his butt throughout our cycles.  He gave me my daily injections, traveled with me to almost every appointment, and waited on me hand and foot when I could not do things for myself.  He also puts up with my craziness and shopping addictions for both baby and me :)

He deserved something all for him.

Once we hit our 20 week mark and knew that we were for sure having a boy, I began to put things into motion.  I found an awesome invitation on Etsy, had it customized and ordered.  I came up with a guest list (thanks to one of Matt's good friends) and a menu.  And then it was time to shop!

Matt's party was yesterday.. Saturday, March 22nd.  Perfect timing for my basketball loving husband - March Madness!  I believe we had a total of twenty-three people in attendance.

I got everything ready in the morning, and then left the house and had a girls day with my mom, sister, and friend Stacy.  Our original plan was lunch, pedicures, and a little outlet shopping.  We made it to everything but the pedicures.  My feet and energy level was done at the end of the shopping trip!  You know it's bad when I didn't have the energy to get a pedicure.. haha

Here are a few pictures from the day.  Needless to say, Hudson is going to be spoiled!  He and Matt have some very special people in their lives!

My friend Kelly made this fabulous diaper/beer cake!

The boys did not go hungry.  This was one of two tables of food.

Seriously, these guys did way too much! 

I wish I would have been able to get some pictures of Matt with our family and friends, but I just wasn't on my game yesterday!  

I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who made the trip and made this a special day for Matt.  I know he was so happy to be able to just spend time with all of you before the little guy arrives.  You are all too much and went way above and beyond for Hudson and Matt!

Rooney said he would test out the Mamaroo toys!

Week 25

Dressed and ready for his first official lacrosse game!

How far along: 25 weeks (as of 3.15.14)

Gender: It's a BOY!

Baby is: The size of a head of cauliflower.. about 14.8 inches long and about 1.5-2 pounds.

Weight gain: 21 pounds as of my last OB appointment.  A little more on this below!

Maternity clothes: All day, every day.

Stretch marks: None, but the veins are very prominent!

Belly button in or out: In.

Sleep: Sleep was rough this week.  I had so much going on for school and lacrosse that my mind wouldn't slow down enough for me to get any good sleep.  

Best moment this week: Getting to hear our little man's heartbeat at my OB appointment and making it through another week.  Matt also got to feel strong movement this week and that was pretty awesome.

Movement: He is very active most days.  However, he does have a day here and there where he is just extra sleepy and does not move near as much.  I am also on the move a lot more than what I was used to, so I am sure that has an impact as well.

Cravings: Spicy, ice cream, pizza

Queasy or sick: Feeling good!  

Looking forward to: So many exciting things in the next month or so!  Maternity photos, our elective ultrasound, my glucose test (not the test itself, but the results) and the birth of some very special babies!

My mom is pretty excited to be a Grandma for the first time!

I had my 25 week OB appointment on Friday.  I knew I had gained a decent amount of weight this month, but I was not prepared to hear all she had to say!  If you've been following my blog weekly, you will notice that I gained 10 pounds this month alone.  Yikes!  That puts me at 21 total.  While that is not terrible, my OB was not overly thrilled.  My blood pressure was normal and I had no protein in my urine.  Both big positives!  Little H's heart was beating away in the upper 140s.  Then it was time to measure my fundal height.  She measured me from one side and immediately uttered the word "ohhh".  Then she moved to the other side to make sure she was seeing things correctly.  

I was 25 weeks 6 days at the appointment and measuring at 28 weeks!

We had a chat about my family history, how big Matt and I were at birth, and my eating habits and swelling.  I was 10 pounds at birth.  Matt was 5 1/2 pounds, but was one month early.  My mom gained a whopping 70ish pounds when she was pregnant with me!  I eat a lot.. and most of the time it isn't' healthy.  My legs and feet are swelling pretty badly by 10 am daily.  I wear compression socks as much as possible and sit as much as I can, but being a teacher and a coach, I am on my feet a lot.

So, what does this all mean?  We scheduled my one hour glucose test for Monday, March 31st.  My follow up appointment (I am official at the biweekly appointment stage) is Tuesday, April 1st.  IF the results show that I do NOT have gestational diabetes (could go either way at this point with my weight gain and measurements), then we will schedule an ultrasound to look at Hudson's size because it is looking like he is going to be a big, big baby like his momma!  If I "fail" the test, I will be sent for the three hour test.  If I fail that test, then we move on with the typical "treatments" from there and still have the ultrasound to estimate his size.  Either way, he is most likely going to be a large baby.  As a result, my OB said she will probably recommend an early c-section so that I do not destroy my lady parts and have a horrible experience with childbirth.

None of this is set in stone, and a lot depends on tests and growth over the next couple of weeks.  But, we are preparing for both possibilities at this point.  Of course, now I look at the few pieces of newborn clothes that we do have and I laugh.  If he happens to take after me, he will never get to wear those cute pieces of clothes!

My OB did tell us we have nothing to worry about and we will adjust things as necessary depending how things work out.  So, for now we wait until everything is tested and results are in!  

Week 24

This week is such a big milestone - viability week!

How far along: 24 weeks (as of 3.08.14)

Gender: It's a BOY!

Baby is: The size of a cantaloupe.. about 11.8 inches long and about 1 pound.

Weight gain: 11 pounds as of my last OB appointment.

Maternity clothes: You betcha.. and thanks to my sister-in-law, I now have a gigantic maternity wardrobe!

Stretch marks: Nadda.

Belly button in or out: In.

Sleep: Restless, but getting a few hours at a time.  Nothing to complain about.  

Best moment this week: Putting the nursery together!  We were able to put the dressers and crib to place this week and we hung most of his stuff on the walls.  I have a few organizational things ordered and the room will be 98% complete once those come in.  It was so surreal being able to get things ready for him.

Movement: He is an active little boy!  We did have a scare this week when he decided to be extra tired on Wednesday.  By 1:00 pm I hadn't felt any movement - which is totally not normal.  I called my OB and they had me eat a big candy bar.  About thirty minutes later, I felt a few little movements.  The boy likes chocolate and sugar.  They had me monitor him for 24 hours, and by Thursday morning, he seemed to be back to his old moving-self.

Cravings: Popcorn, ice cream, buffalo chicken dip

Queasy or sick: Feeling good!  

Looking forward to: So many exciting things in the next month or so!  Maternity photos, our elective ultrasound, organizing his dressers (yes, I love to organize), re-doing the little guy's bathroom, and a party or two.

Paranoia 101

When we started IVF I was ignorant.  I was convinced our first cycle would work, we would have our miracle baby 9 months later, and all would be well with the world.  If you have followed my blog long enough, you know that our first cycle did work.  And then we miscarried at seven weeks.  One D&C later we moved on to our second cycle, which was a frozen embryo transfer.  It was a complete failure.  We moved on yet again to our third cycle - a second frozen embryo transfer with additional medications - in October.  I am currently in my 24th week of pregnancy as a result of that cycle.

Needless to say, with each failure or issue, my confidence decreased more and more.  It felt like I was being kicked while I was down.  I couldn't conceive a baby naturally, and science wasn't doing the job either.  I was no longer convinced that anything would work.  Instead, I feared (and still do) the worst.  Every time our RE told me something looked great or levels were good, I questioned him.  They looked good/great the last time, too.  And we see how that ended.  I'm not going to lie, I was a real Debbie Downer for a few months.  Do you blame me?

When we got that call after our first beta test for our third cycle, I immediately told Matt that we weren't getting excited yet.  Yes, our number was strong, but we knew all too well what could happen.  Forty-eight hours later we had our second beta.  The numbers increased, but didn't double.  Immediately I freaked out and resorted to Dr. Google.  Bad, bad idea.  I ended up calling the clinic and talking to my nurse about the numbers.  She assured me that everything looked great.  There's that word again.  We had a third beta three days later.  The numbers doubled this time.  I should have been ecstatic this time, right?  I wasn't.  I was happy.  I was excited.  I was still scared.  Our first ultrasound was a week and a half way.  Ten days of thoughts all over the place.  That day finally arrived.  Our first ultrasound was great.  I'm telling you, they use this word way too much.  We were to return one week later for our second ultrasound at 7 weeks 4 days.  That day came.  Again, our ultrasound showed a growing baby with a strong heartbeat.  Yet, I was still reluctant to get excited.  We didn't tell a single soul other than our immediate family and MAYBE five close friends.  One more ultrasound scheduled at Shady Grove for the following week.  This was the ultrasound that revealed the lack of heartbeat during our first pregnancy.  Needless to say, I was a mess that week.  Our 8 week ultrasound arrived.  I was literally shaking the entire time we were there.  That ultrasound showed more growth, a healthy baby, and a strong heartbeat.  We graduated from Shady Grove.  It was time to celebrate, right?

Wrong.  I was still paranoid.  We were only eight weeks along.  That meant five weeks remaining in the first trimester.  The supposed "safe zone".  Our little guy was still a secret.  Those weeks came and went.  I pretty much demanded a ten week ultrasound at my OB.  They gave it to me and again, all looked well.  Twelve weeks rolled around the week of Christmas.  We decided to share our news with the rest of our family and world on Christmas Day.  Three days short of the second trimester.  Again, I was hesitant, but we felt it was a great day to share.  As I chose the picture to share and typed the words.. I shook.  Was this the right time?  I was paranoid that something bad would happen as soon as we shared the news.  We made it to thirteen weeks.  My OB appointment went "great".  I scheduled my 16 week appointment and our 20 week anatomy scan with Maternal Fetal Medicine.  My week 16 appointment came and went.  Strong heart beat and measuring on target.  Next, the day arrived for my twenty week anatomy scan.  Again, I was a ball of nerves.  Was he growing normally?  Was he healthy?  I had yet to feel him move.. was something wrong?  We were the first appointment of the day.  An hour later (and a few jumping jacks and toe touches) we were told that we had a healthy, growing, baby boy as well as anterior placenta which prevented me from feeling his tiny movements - for another week or so.

Do I post our gender reveal?  Do I post an ultrasound picture?  Paranoia creeping in.  Convinced something bad is going to happen if I try to celebrate the good.  I posted.  This may be the only time I get to experience pregnancy and these milestones.  Why not share them?  (Backtrack a little bit.. I refused to take a belly picture until 12 weeks because I was afraid we would lose him if we started any earlier.)  

I had refused to buy anything baby related until our twenty week scan.  That weekend we ordered furniture and bedding.  I literally had an anxiety attack while clicking the "submit" button to order both.  What if I ordered this stuff and something went terribly wrong?  Paranoia.  We also registered after this appointment.  I really enjoyed going through the stores and picking out things, and Matt thoroughly enjoyed using the scanner to scan every little thing.  However, in the back of my mind, all I could think about was the what if.  What if something bad happens?  There it is.  Paranoia creeping in again.  Over the last couple of weeks, things have been arriving at the house.  Furniture.  Bedding.  A diaper bag.  A bath tub.  A few articles of clothing.  Should I wash it?  What do I do with it all if something goes wrong?  Yes.  I am 100% paranoid.  

I still have our last full Sharps container sitting out on the kitchen counter.  I can't bring myself to get rid of it.  Or even put it away.  All of the used vials from our last cycle are sitting beside it.  I can't get rid of those, either.  All of my left over medications and syringes are currently stored in a bin, on a shelf, in the nursery closet.  Maybe I will get rid of them someday.  Maybe.  I have a chalkboard hanging on the wall in the entryway to our kitchen.  My plan was to use this for a weekly countdown.  I'd start it at twelve weeks.  Ok, after my sixteen week appointment.  Make that the twenty week scan.  Twenty-four weeks?  It is still a clean, blank, black chalkboard.  I don't want to jinx anything.

Today I posted a #tbt (throw back Thursday) photo on Instagram.  It included a picture of the embryos we transferred on October 10th.  One of these perfect embroys is our sweet Hudson.  This is the first time anyone has seen this picture.  I have been too paranoid to share it with anyone.  I shared the photos of our embryos during the first two cycles.  They both ended negatively.  I, of course, linked that negativity to the posting of the photo and am STILL paranoid that something bad is going to happen because I posted that photo.  Call me crazy.  I probably am.  I blame infertility for these thoughts constantly lingering in the back of my mind.  Maybe that is the wrong thing to do.  Maybe it isn't.  I just know I was never this paranoid before my journey through infertility.

Throughout this pregnancy, I have had multiple friends and family members lose their babies way too early for one reason or another.  It just brings the fear right back to the surface for me.  Is that going to happen to us?  My heart breaks every time I see something bad happen to a baby and those who are close to me.  It breaks every time one of my infertility community friends suffers from yet another failed cycle.  It makes me hesitant to celebrate.

I am trying to get better.  I am trying to enjoy pregnancy.  Don't get me wrong, I have nothing to complain about.  I had no legit morning sickness.  If I got queasy, I immediately ate something and I was fine.  I do not feel big and overly uncomfortable.  I am also only 24 weeks along, so I have a lot of time left to get to that point.  But deep down, I feel like I cannot enjoy this pregnancy like a normal person who has no idea what it's like to lose something so precious.  Someone who has no idea how difficult it is for some to get pregnant - if they are even able to get pregnant with assistance.  I will always worry.  I will always be paranoid that something bad is going to happen.

For instance, yesterday.  I began feeling Hudson kick/punch/move regularly around twenty one weeks.  He seems to have adopted a schedule.  I feel him early in the morning, while I am sitting at my desk, and a little in the evening after I am moving around at lacrosse practice.  Yesterday, I felt nothing other than one little kick when I woke up.  It didn't seem normal to me.  I also felt off.  I can't explain it.  My feet, legs (these daily), hands and face were swollen.  Was something wrong?  Should I call my OB?  Will they think I am over-reacting?  At that point, I didn't care.  I needed to know my baby was ok.  I called.  They told me to eat a large candy bar and see if that jump started our little guy.  Low and behold, about twenty minutes after devouring the candy bar I felt a few movements.  I felt a few more after school.  I even felt some at practice.  All he needed was a little sugar.  A boy after my own heart.  But again, you can see my paranoia.  Some days I just need that reassurance that is he ok.

I pray every day.  I read two different devotionals daily.  I know that God is in control and that I should not have these thoughts.  But I cannot help it.  I am just too scared to lose our little boy.  I know this will all work out according to God's plan.  I just pray that his plan includes a healthy and happy little Hudson for us!

With that, I will leave you with the #tbt picture I posted today.  A picture of our embryos from this transfer, a picture of Hudson from our 20 week anatomy scan, and a current picture of my ever growing belly that I am beyond thankful to have.

Week 23

How far along: 23 weeks (as of 3.01.14)

Gender: It's a BOY!

Baby is: The size of a grapefruit.. about 11.8 inches long and about 20.8 ounces.

Weight gain: 11 pounds as of my last OB appointment.

Maternity clothes: All day, every day.

Stretch marks: Not yet, but my veins are starting to become very noticeable. 

Belly button in or out: In.

Sleep: Falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, but waking up mid-way through the night and finding that I am unable to fall back asleep easily.  After a few games on my phone, I do eventually fall back asleep and wake up around 5:30 for the day.

Best moment this week: The rest of baby boy's furniture was delivered, so we can put the nursery together!  The temps started to warm up a bit at the end of this week, too.  43 degrees.. heat wave, baby!  AND.. we welcomed another baby into the family this week.  My sister-in-law give birth to a beautiful baby girl Friday morning.  She was welcomed by two older brothers and one older sister.  She is absolutely beautiful!

Movement: Feeling it more and more and loving every single kick, punch, and flip flop I feel!  I seriously wish I could feel this all of the time!  I think I may have felt some hiccups one day this week, but I am not 100% positive.

Cravings: Anything not healthy.. greasy, fatty, fried.. yep.  That's what I want.  BUT, I'm also wanting oranges, too.

Queasy or sick: Feeling good!  I want to eat constantly.. and I do.

Looking forward to: My next OB appointment, scheduling our 28-30 week elective 3D/4D ultrasound, and our maternity photo shoot.  Oh, and Spring!  I so hope that these somewhat warmer temps are here to stick around!

Lacrosse season officially started this week!  We started our first day with 2 inches of fresh snow and a two hour delay.  That resulted in a few night indoor gym practices rather than freezing our booties off in the 20 degree temps.  However, by Friday, the temps had soared to 40 degrees and we were able to spend some time outside on our snowy field.  Hopefully the little bit of running we did to "break up" the snow helped it to melt over the weekend.  I really am looking forward to this season.  I started coaching lacrosse (used to coach field hockey) four years ago, so this year's seniors were my first year freshmen.  It has been awesome watching them learn and grow, and even sign official letters of intent to play in college!  

Week 22

Yes, I am still squeezing into a size Small t-shirt for the event I chaperoned Friday night!  It has since been retired!

How far along: 22 weeks (as of 2.22.14)

Gender: It's a BOY!

Baby is: The size of a papaya.. about 11.5 inches long and about 20 ounces.

Weight gain: 11 pounds as of my last OB appointment.

Maternity clothes: You betcha!  I am loving anything that stretches.

Stretch marks: Not yet.  

Belly button in or out: In.. looking like a black hole. (TMI.. sorry)

Sleep: Sleep was horrible this week, but it's not due to the pregnancy.  I've been fighting a sinus infection most of this week and breathing through my nose at night is the worst.

Best moment this week: Being able to feel my baby boy more and more.  His "awake" schedule has been pretty consistent this week and I love it.  We also got our confirmation for the labor/baby classes we signed up for, and our glider came in this week.

Movement: Feeling it more and more and loving every single kick, punch, and flip flop I feel!  I seriously wish I could feel this all of the time!  Matt was able to feel him for the first time this week and it was awesome.

Cravings: Anything spicy, chocolate, and ranch pretzels.  Good thing I live in the snack capital of the state!

Queasy or sick: Feeling good!  I want to eat constantly.. and I do.

Looking forward to: We finally got the confirmation that his dressers are being delivered, so I am looking forward to getting all of his furniture put into place.  I am also looking forward to the birth of our second niece this week!  She is scheduled to arrive this Friday and we are planning to meet her on Saturday.

If you know anything about Penn State, you know that every year they have a 46 hour event referred to as THON, where the students are on their feet for 46 straight hours raising money for childhood cancer patients.  They "can" for money at intersections and businesses every weekend throughout the fall season and fundraise in other various ways to raise as much money as they can for the Four Diamonds Fund.  My school holds a Mini-THON every year where our students fundraise and then stay on their feet for ten straight hours.. 8 pm - 6 am.  I love chaperoning this event every year.. it is great to see the kids working so hard for such a great cause!  Our Mini-THON was held this past Friday night.. the kids have so many activities to choose from to stay on their feet.  There is dancing, dodgeball, volleyball, a bouncy house/obstacle course, tye-dye shirts, food eating contests, Wii, Xbox, board games, etc.  Here are a few pictures from the evening.  They raised just over $29,000 (233 kids) for the Four Diamonds Fund!

I have also been fighting a lovely sinus infection all week.. and it is showing no signs of leaving any time soon.  The infection also decided a nice dose of pink eye in both eyes was appropriate as well.  So, I spent Saturday night at Express Care getting some meds for the pink eye (they wouldn't give me anything for the sinus infection because I didn't have a fever) and then just sleeping and laying around.  Let's hope this passes sooner than later since my busy time starts this week!  Luckily, I had these two cuddle buddies to hang out with while my awesome husband cleaned the entire house, did five loads of laundry, and got me food!