Hudson's first Christmas

We have been so busy this holiday season that I am just now finally getting the time to sit down and write my Christmas post.

This Christmas was nothing short of amazing.  There is just something that makes it so much more special when you can enjoy the magic of the season through the eyes of your child.  Hudson is only six months old, but he enjoyed ripping paper and snaking on tissue paper like it was the greatest thing in the world!  And he was nothing short of spoiled.

I explained our schedule in my previous post, so I am not going to get into that here.  We enjoyed waking up Christmas morning and showing Hudson that Santa had come.  We also had a wonderful time celebrating with all of my family in one room!

Hudson was perfect on Christmas Day. He opened his presents, napped like a  champ, had a blast playing with his new toys, and smiled every time a camera was in his face.  I love him more than words and am looking forward to many more holiday seasons to come!

Six month photo shoot

Originally I was going to do Hudson's six month photo shoot on my own.  But then I stumbled across a local photographer by accident - at the last minute.  Luckily, she had one last opening so I scarfed it up.  She was amazing.  She spent two hours at our house and got some pretty awesome shots of our little guy - which I will share below.

At six months, Hudson is almost sitting 100% on his own.  He is still flashing his gummy smile sans teeth, but I have a feeling they will start to show up soon.  He was not a fan of his shots, but he took them like a champ.  He is eating like crazy.  Cereal, prunes and bottle for breakfast; vegetable, fruit and bottle for lunch; and dinner meal, fruit and bottle for dinner.  He wraps up the day with a bedtime bottle.  The kid seriously loves to eat!

He is still sleeping well - when he isn't sick.  He fought RSV this month and spent many restless nights just crying and fussing.  We rocked and held him almost every night for a week, but he is finally on the upward end of the sickness.

He loves toys - especially those that make noise.  He will play and play and play.  Which also brings lots of laughter.

He has recently become very aware of the dogs.  He reaches for them, grabs (and pulls) their hair, ears and skin.  And he giggles and laughs uncontrollably anytime one of them walks past him and/or smells and licks his face.  They will for sure be best friends as he grows up!

He is growing so quickly right before our eyes.  It is so bittersweet, but he is becoming so much more interactive!

Here are a few pictures from his photo shoot!

Traditions

Growing up, Christmas was always a huge deal for my family.  We ate more than our share of food, gave tons of gifts, and celebrated with as many people as we could.

Christmas in our family always begins the Saturday prior to Christmas.  We spent the evening at my Grandpa's house eating non-traditional foods, chatting, and gift giving.

We would begin Christmas Eve by spending it at my Grandma and Papa's house.  We ate dinner full of sandwiches and finger foods, we opened, presents, and we spent time with family.  When it was time to leave, we would spend an extra 30 minutes or so driving around to see Christmas lights before going home.  We we got home, we would get out the Polar Express book and read it as a family.  We put out cookies and milk for Santa (my siblings are 7 and 10 years younger than I), and we went to bed.  I don't think anyone slept but my dad - he would sleep through a hurricane.  We all anxiously awaited Santa's arrival.. anticipating what he would bring.  At 6:00 am we would get up, open our stockings, and then sprint down the stairs to see what Santa had brought. *My parents never (even to this day) put the gifts under the tree until after everyone went to bed.*

We would call my Grandma, who was patiently waiting for her phone to ring, and as soon as she arrived at our house, we would begin opening gifts - one by one.  Everyone would then get ready, and my mom always hosted lunch on Christmas day.  Prime Rib.  I'm salivating just thinking about it.  Everyone would nap in the afternoon, and then we would be off again to my Grandma's house to eat yet again and open more gifts.

By the time the day was over, we were all completely exhausted.. and sad.  All of the preparations, all of the excitement, over so quickly.

When Matt and I got married, we changed our traditions a bit.  We would spend Christmas Eve going to church, having dinner and Christmas with Matt's mom and sister.  We started our own tradition where we give each other pajamas Christmas Eve.  We would wake up Christmas morning and exchange gifts between us and then get ready and make the drive to my parents to continue the rest of the day as normal. Lunch at my parents and dinner at my Grandma's.  We would stay a couple of days and head back home.  And just like that, it was all over again.

Last year was our most special, yet different Christmas yet.  During the year, my Grandma had passed.  Christmas was her favorite and though I miss her like crazy all of the time, it is just different during the holidays.  Nostalgia.    Though we were missing her last year, we were able to bless our family by announcing that our third round of IVF had been successful and that we were expecting in June.

I definitely thought it would be difficult to top last year, however I don't think I've ever been as excited for Christmas as much as I am this year.  Hudson was born in June and this will be our first Christmas with him.  I know that he has no idea what is going on, but I had so much fun shopping for him.  I am well aware that I have spoiled him and that we will probably need 3 hours alone just for him to open gifts.  It's his first Christmas and I want it to be special.

Our plans are a little different this year.  This past weekend we celebrated Christmas with my Grandpa and Grandma and Matt's mom and sister.  Since Hudson does not understand what is happening this year, we decided to drive to my parents Christmas Eve and spend the night there.  We will wake up Christmas morning to all of the things that Santa left for him.  It will be a full house - my parents, the three of us, my brother and his girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend, and four dogs.  It will be totally chaotic, but I am beyond excited.  I plan to teach Hudson the real reason for the season, but I also plan to do Santa as well.  There is just something so special about seeing the Christmas magic through the eyes of little kids.  And it is something I have been looking forward to for years. 

We are continuing our pajama tradition and have bought Hudson his first pair of Christmas jammies.  I cannot wait to give them to him!  We also got him his first Christmas ornament for his very own tree.  My plan is to get him one every year, so that we he moves out (when he's 42) he will have ornaments for his very own tree and will hopefully remember each and every Christmas while he was growing up.

What are some of your favorite traditions?

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy time spent with family and friends.

I will leave you with some pictures from Hudson's 6 month/Christmas photo shoot.  I am in love and cannot wait to see the rest.  Thank you, Emerald Skye Photography!

Hudson's Wish List

Ok, let's be honest.  Hudson is five months old and can't tell me what his wishlist for his first Christmas is.  But, let's just pretend that he communicated to me in his own language, and now I am communicating it to you.  Okay?

1.  Hudson wants an Anywhere Chair so he can be cool like his mom and dad when hanging out in the living room.  He says the adult couch is just too big for him, so this chair is more his size.  He would like it in gray and embroidered with his first name.

2.  This guy loves his Aden and Anis swaddle blankets so much that he is hoping to get some security blankets that he can take with him on the go.  Seriously.. these things are so soft and he rubs their swaddle blankets against his face to fall asleep.  I figure the security blanket is a much better option for this and it is much easier to replace when it is inevitably lost in aisle ten of Target a few days months down the road.

3.  Cube storage.  Hudson told me he is probably going to get a lot of toys, so he is going to need somewhere to store them all.. after he cleans them up daily. HA HA.  Anyway, we do not have a separate toy room (at this time) in our house, so toys are going to need to be stored in the living room where he will be playing with them.  I didn't really want a toy box as things tend to get lost in the black hole at the bottom, but I also didn't want something that totally swore at my decor, so that is what we decided to go with.  I plan to lay it flat so that it is 4 cubes wide and 2 high, and then fill half of the blocks with bins and leave the other half open.  We will see how long that works.  This piece will match our furniture much better and will hopefully last for a good amount of time.  Who knows, maybe we will get around to finishing our basement sooner than later so that he can have a play room of his own! (Right alongside daddy's man cave.)

4.  Mickey ride-on Tractor.  Everyone knows that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is a favorite in our house and when this gem came up on Zulily at half off, I dove right into that sale.  I really think he will enjoy this as he learns to walk and move around.. and the sounds.. we all know that he will love that.  Hudson says he can't wait to terrorize Sophie and Rooney with this toy.

5.  Swim trunks.  We got Hudson a session (additional sessions if he enjoys it) of parent/child swim classes at the local YMCA so that he can become accustomed to the water.  We go to the beach often, so we thought this would be a great idea.  He concurred.  He will begin in January, so he is going to need some studly swim shorts to win over the ladies in class.

6.  Teethers that you can freeze.  I believe the teething season is among us.. and this guy needs something frozen to chomp on and give those gums some relief.  I saw these at Target and couldn't help myself.  So stinking cute!

7.  Sit to Stand.  Hudson is almost sitting.. almost.  He wants to so, so badly.  I've heard great reviews about these things and Hudson told me it will definitely help him with his walking skills in a few months, so we decided this was a must-have as well.  All of the gadgets look entertaining and I have no doubt that he will love it from day one.


What is on your little one's Christmas wish list this year?

Thankful.

I started this post on Thanksgiving.  But then life got in the way and I never got the chance to finish it!  Better late than never, right?

I am thankful for so many things every day of the year, but I like to use Thanksgiving as my way to reflect on the specific things I am/have been thankful for this year.  This Thanksgiving has been my best yet as we got to share it with Hudson.  He enjoyed sweet potatoes, carrots and bananas as his Thanksgiving feast.  And by enjoy, I mean that he ate every single bite we gave him.  No wonder he is getting so big!

Last year I listed a few individual things that I was thankful for.  This year I am going to list one - and then elaborate on everything that is has surprisingly given me.

Believe it or not, this year I am thankful for my infertility.  Now, I do not wish this disease on anyone and it would be so nice not to have to go through treatments to have a shot at pregnancy.  But on the other hand, my infertility has given me so many things and taught me many valuable lessons.

My infertility taught me the true meaning of patience, made me more humble and has strengthened my faith.  Those three things make me very thankful.

My infertility has also given me things that I would otherwise not have gotten.  First and foremost, is my son.  Without my treatments, I would not have him.  He brings me so much joy and is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me.  His smile brings an instant smile to my face and he can make any bad day into a great day.  He is literally my pride and joy.  He has taught me the true meaning of being a mother and I am more than proud to be his mommy.  Hudson, I love you more than you will ever know.

The second thing my infertility has done is strengthened my marriage.  These treatments are not for the weak and struggling couples.  It will not serve as a means to bring you together.  Instead, it tries to rip you apart by throwing all kinds of hoops and obstacles at you.  Together, Matt and I got through all of these and as a result, our marriage is stronger than ever.  I wouldn't want to navigate through this journey with anyone else.

Infertility has blessed me with friendships that I otherwise would not have.  It has given me unbreakable bonds with some of the strongest, most amazing women I know.  And what brought us together?  We share the common bond of being infertile.  We know and understand what each other has gone through and we just get each other.  There are a few girls that I clicked with from the beginning of my journey, and to this day, their friendships are a true blessing to me.  When I am struggling or have something to share (even if it's TMI.. haha) they are my go to.  I am do my best to be the same for them.  Who else would understand my love for emojis and memes?  Matt asks me daily what I am laughing at when I check my phone.  I can guarantee it is something these girls have said or sent.  They are my saving grace.  Love you girls - and I look forward to the day we can all meet in person.

These three are just a small list compared to the overall whole that my infertility has actually given me.  It is a daily struggle, but it has also opened my eyes to so many things and given me so many life experiences.  And honestly, I truly am thankful for all that it has given me.

Again, a little late, but better than never.  Here is our first family Thanksgiving photo!

Month 5

Three posts in one week.  I'm apparently going for a record or something.

Anyway, exactly one year ago today we were released from our RE at 8 weeks and today my baby boy is 5 months old.  I have no idea how time has passed us so quickly!  I missed a four month post, so I decided to be sure to write a five month post.

I am not 100% positive how much Hudson currently weighs, but I do know that he was 16 pounds at his four month appointment and he has grown quite a bit since then.  If I had to guess, I'd say he is between 18 and 19 at this point.  He's got rolls fo' days!

He is currently transitioning out of 6 month clothes and into 9 month clothes.  He has about 2 pairs of 6 month pants he can fit into as well as a couple of long sleeve t-shirts.. everything else in the 6 month department is a no bueno.  

Food.  This kid LOVES to eat.  We got the go ahead at his four month appointment to start giving him purees.  We started with fruits - he likes bananas, pears, and homemade peaches and applesauce.  He isn't having any of those tart baby food peaches.  He was still hungry.  So, we added in veggies.  So far he likes carrots, squash and his all time favorite is sweet potatoes - gross.  For breakfast he is currently having rice cereal and an 8 ounce bottle.  For lunch he has a fruit and an 8 ounce bottle.  He has about 2 ounces of juice in the afternoon.  At dinner he has a veggie, fruit, and 8 ounce bottle.  And one last 8 ounce bottle at bedtime.  Like I said, he loves to eat.

Bath time is also a favorite.  He is so much fun in the bathtub.  He loves to splash and chomp on his bath toys.  He finds it quite comical when he straightens his body out completely so he slides off of his "prop".  It becomes a game of how-many-times-do-we-have-to-reset-Hudson's-position.  And he loves it.

Hudson is still a rock-star sleeper.  He goes to bed around 8:30 and sleeps until 6:30 on weekday mornings (when I have to get him up) and sometimes even later on the weekends.  He has a rough night here and there, but nothing to complain about.  He naps well both for us and the babysitter.  He is very content laying in his crib talking to himself for a good ten minutes or so once he does wake up.  I love laying in bed listening to him coo and talk to himself.  It's awesome.

We have a babe on the move.  No crawling over here yet, but he is a rolling fool.  Back to belly, belly to back.  It's pretty cool to see.  He starts in one direction and ten minutes later he is facing a totally different direction.  He also loves Sophie and Rooney.  Rooney is much more interactive with him, so he is especially intrigued by our yellow guy.  He has literally started to pet him and grab his hair.  Good thing we have dogs with awesome personalities.

Hudson is also becoming a flirt.  He will look at a girl, then smile and turn and hide his face in my chest.  It is so, so funny!  He knows me, Matt, my mom, and his babysitter by voice and face now and smiles every time he sees are hears each one of us.  It's the best!

These five months have been the best.  I love every second I get to spend with my little guy and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  He never ceases to amaze me with his learning and achievements each and every day.  I love you, baby boy!

What I learned

about childbirth.. and the weeks/months after.

I know there are a ton of posts out there written about this exact topic, but this is my take on my experience based on what I've been through.  You get the point.

Before giving birth to Hudson I didn't quite know what to expect.  I talked - in great length - to family members and friends who already had children of their own.  I forced Matt to sign up for and attend six three-hour childbirth classes.. all of which would prove to be a total waste of time (I didn't have a natural birth and breast feeding didn't work).  I researched.  I researched some more.  And yet I still didn't have a clue when the time finally arrived.

Now, you must know that I did not go into labor on my own.  While I was having contractions on my own, they were not strong enough to do anything.  Instead, I was induced with Pitocin due to gestational hypertension.. in other words, my blood pressure skyrocketed at 38+5 so it was time to evict Hudson.  I never lost my mucus plug, my water never broke on it's own, I never had to labor in a car on the way to the hospital.. but it was still a surprise that day as I had no idea my blood pressure was that high.  I went to my weekly appointment and they sent me to labor and delivery immediately.  And what felt like a bazillion hours later, Hudson was born.

1. Any modesty you had left will disappear very quickly.  Now, after three rounds of in-vitro, I had virtually no modesty left going into the delivery room.  But any little smidgen that was there?  GONE!  There are literally 15 people passing in and out of the delivery room at any given time.  This does not include the people you have designated to accompany you throughout labor.  There are nurses all up in your business, there are various doctors all up in your business, there are residents all up in there, there are lactation consultants after the birth.. you get the point.  A lot of people are going to see your who-ha.  And there are going to be a lot of things going on that you literally have no idea are going on.. especially if you get an epidural.  Accept that fact going into it, and it will be much easier for you!  

2.  C-sections (if you have one.. and I did.. thus the reason 4 of my 6 birthing classes were a total waste of time) are weird.  Now, I was out of it for most of mine, but there are some distinct things that I will never forget.  They put that nice curtain up in front of you so that you can't see what's going on.  Well, if you look straight up into the lights, you can see what's going on.  And at one point.. I literally saw the doctor up on the table yanking.. what I am assuming was Hudson, out.  The amount of pressure you feel is intense, and so difficult to describe.  Then when they are stitching you up.. you are literally bouncing up and down - like a trampoline - on the table.  It.is.weird.  

3.  Mesh undies.  These little stretchy pieces of heaven are going to be your best friends.  At first I thought they were weird.  Then, after my first shower, I put them on.  And I instantly wanted to scour the internet and purchase a lifetime supply.  But, I refrained.  Sigh.  Anyway, I scarfed up every pair I could from the hospital and even had an additional four pairs from my beautiful friend, Kristen.  I was legitimately sad the day I used the last pair.  
**Update: My friend Kelly says that these things have a good 12 or so wash/spin cycles in them. Do you know what that means?  If you grab your entire hospital stash, you can make them last for months!  My day has just been made!

4.  Your maxi pads will resemble landing strips.  They are that.big.  And you will need them.  It doesn't matter how you give birth (natural or c-section) there is still an abundance of "stuff" that needs to vacate your body.  I mean, I heard them sucking nasty stuff out of me for what felt like 20 minutes and I still had to use the landing strips for a good two weeks.  Now don't get me wrong, I knew that there was a heavy flow post par tum, but I never imagined it was THAT much.  And now that I've grossed you out, we shall move along.

5.  There is no perfect answer.  Remember all of those books you read before baby?  All of the apps that you followed?  Yeah.  While they have great ideas and some things may hold true, most of it is total crap.  I mean really, who has the most perfect life that follows the strict schedule and blah blah blah.  No one that I know, that's for sure. (Granted, they may think that they do, but rest assured, they do not.)  You have to do you.  You do what's best for you and what's best for your baby.  Use the books as a quick reference, but otherwise toss them.  Same thing for some of those stupid apps.  I spent like $2.99 on the Wonder Weeks app or whatever it is.. and I watched that thing daily. Oh, Hudson should be starting a leap!  While he has exhibited a few of the behaviors/signs, I would say that overall the app is a total waste of my $2.99.  I could have gotten two songs off of Taylor Swift's new album for that money!  I would watch for these things to happen.  It was like I was waiting for him to scream all night long, in turn keeping myself up all night long for no reason.  So I decided to toss it.  Not worth my time.. or money.  Trust your instinct.  Don't second guess yourself.  You will know what to do.

6.  The first poop is scary as all hell.  It doesn't matter how you give birth, that first post par tum poo is one of the scariest things ever.  You basically just have to fart to be able to leave the hospital.. the rest all takes place AFTER you are home.  Now, they will feed you like 47 stool softeners a day while in the hospital, but let me tell you, it does not help.  You will get the feeling.. and it will scare you.  You will go to the bathroom and you will sit there forever.. feeling like your insides are going to come spilling out if you squeeze.  And then after what feels like an eternity later, it will happen.  And you will feel some relief.  And then each time it will get a little easier and a little less scary.  And eventually you will feel normal again.

7.  You are still going to look pregnant.  I had it in my head that all of my baby weight would magically disappear once Hudson was born.. and that I could wear my regular leggings home.  Well, I laughed at myself over and over and over for this one.  I left the hospital looking like I did when I was six months pregnant.  And I couldn't wear my own leggings - only because they fell right over my incision - I could have stretched them over me if I didn't have that issue.  And my swelling was 10 times worse than it was when I was pregnant.. and I was majorly swollen when I was pregnant.  Now, my stomach and swelling did slowly go down, but I'm still rocking a 4 month-ish pregnant belly.  This losing baby weight thing is hard.  I walk and I have recently started Weight Watchers.  I am happy to report that I have lost 2.5 pounds in 2 weeks.  I still have 10 more to go, but I'm slowly getting there.

8.  Most of your friends will disappear.  This one makes me sad.  Before you have your baby, your friends are around.  They are so excited for you and they make time to hang out with you.  Then you have your baby.  One, maybe two if you are lucky, of your friends come to visit you in the hospital.  Then you go home.  Again, one, maybe two additional (or same) friends come to visit you.  They may bring a meal, a little gift for you and/or baby, and they stay for an hour.  Then they leave.  And it is weeks, sometimes months, before you hear from them again.  And chances are, you are the one making the communication - not them.  It's as if they have written you off because you are a "boring mom" now.  Now, I live away from most of my friends, so it is much more difficult for them to come visit.  However, I have gotten texts from ONE of my IRL (in real life - I'll explain) friends.  One.  And she recently had a baby, so she gets it.  We talk mom stuff, baby stuff, family stuff, life stuff.  She gets it.  And I am beyond thankful for her.  Then I have my good friend that lives locally and I work with - who also has three kids.  She gets it.  We chat, we hang out when possible, and we check in on each other.  I am also thankful for her.  I also have my TTC friends - those girls who have been there through the thick and thin of this infertility battle.  They gave me advice, ears (texts) to listen, shoulders to virtually cry on, and they are still there because they get it.  I have three awesome girls that I text on a regular basis.  Without them, I would be lost.  Seriously.  The rest of my friends.. do I even call them friends anymore?  Not a single one has EVER sent even a text message or email to ask how Hudson was.  To congratulate us.  To ask how I was.  To see if I wanted to get together or have some away time.  Nothing.  And that just makes me sad.  Which leads me to..

9.  You will need to make some time for yourself.  Don't get me wrong.  I want to be with Hudson 24/7.. and 99% of the time I am (except when I am working).  But once a week, it's nice to get out and go to Target or something like that alone so I can have some time to myself.  I am lucky enough to have a husband that supports this and gives me that time on a weekly basis.  And we are lucky enough to have family that is willing to watch Hudson so we can still do things as a couple - for example our weekend away for a friend's wedding.  We missed Hudson like crazy, but we knew he was in good hands and it was good for our marriage to get out and be us for a weekend.  And then we went home and get in plenty of snuggle time.  

10.  Your family will become incredibly important.  I live two hours from my family.  Now that I have Hudson, that is indescribably difficult for me.  I miss my mom.  I wish I had her around to help me when I need it and to visit or go to dinner with once a week.  It sucks living away from them - even though it's only two hours.  I wish we could move closer, I really do.  But the current job and housing market doesn't permit that at this time, so we will do our best and make the best out of our time together.  I just wish that she, and my dad, siblings and grandparents, were closer to us while Hudson is growing up.  And this is me whining.  Wahh.

Just a few things that I have learned first hand. Everyone is different and handles everything differently.  Every birth, baby, parenting style, etc. is different.  I'm just sharing my thoughts and opinions.. and a few pictures of my baby bear on this blistery cold day :)

He will hate me for this someday.