So long, sweet summer.

Sadly, the last night of my summer has arrived.  My alarm is set for for 5:30 tomorrow morning (and my "I really need to get up alarm" is set for 6:00) so I can go greet a new round of students for the 2013-2014 school year.  (Ok, I will only see my freshmen tomorrow, but the rest of the kiddos will begin on Tuesday.)  

Another summer has come and gone.  This one has been full of vacations, weddings, family time, housework, and of course.. emotions.  Even though it got off to a rough start and I am not ending this summer with a baby or a baby on the way, I can truthfully say it was one of my best summers.

I'm going to savor my last bit of time off by sharing my highlights and favorite memories from the last three months.


1 - Our annual two week vacation in the Outer Banks, NC with my family.

2 - Matt and I celebrated our One Year Anniversary at the same place we got married.

3 - We traveled to Quantico, VA to attend a special friend's Marine retirement ceremony, and their wedding later that day.

4 - Matt took a shot at a construction project--and it was a success!

5 - We enjoyed the beautiful scenery from our new home.

6 - We spent 4th of July in Kreamer with my family.  And ate some addicting chocolate lava cake.

7 - We got our fire pit done and ready for use.

8 - We played in the 2nd Annual #flyhighgaby golf tournament with my Dad and Brother.

9 - We finished our patio!

10 - We went to Knoebels.

11 - We spent a lot of time with our furry kids.

12 - We attended my cousin's wedding.

13 - We had our second round of IVF - a frozen transfer this time.

14 - We went to an Oriole's game with Andy & Katie.

15 - We picked lots of goodies from our first garden.

16 - We helped move my sister into her college apartment. (Let me tell you, much better than any on campus housing I ever had!  A fully furnished kitchen, living room, laundry room, and 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.. for 4 girls!)

17 - We saw Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake.

Our summer was eventful, yet relaxing.  We enjoyed organizing and decorating our new home, spent many lazy mornings watching re-runs of The Hills with the pups, traveled many different places, and had a lot of much needed "us" time.  

I'm going to leave you with a song that I listen to when my emotions go all crazy, like they are now.

Hoping our storm soon runs out of rain.

Happy First Day of School to all of my teacher friends heading back.

Here's to a new fall.. my favorite season!

The 2WW - Round Two

I am officially half way through my second two week wait.  As if going through IVF isn't enough, then they want us to wait two whole weeks for our beta test!  I thought for sure this one would be much easier since I knew what to expect.  Wow, could I be any more wrong? (I picture myself saying this in a Joey from Friends voice!)  I honestly think this one is more difficult!  I keep trying to compare these two weeks to the two weeks from our first cycle, which is probably the wrong thing to do.  Two completely different cycles = two completely different experiences.  But my crazy, hormonal mind just cannot stop.

I have been keeping myself busy with back to school "stuff".  We had three days of teacher in-service this week and I spent some a lot of extra time in my classroom getting ready for this year's kiddos.  I also chopped all of my long hair off!  *Gasp*  It isn't that short, but it's shorter than what I am used to.  Fall sports have also started, which means Matt is off coaching for a couple of hours each day, and we get to take the dogs to the various athletic events--which makes them two very happy (and tired) pups!  I also took a shot at being Miss Betty Crocker and made two batches of homemade salsa from the gazillion tomatoes and peppers we are getting from our garden.  I was a little worried, but it is some kick-a$$ spicy stuff!

Despite all of these things, at the end of the day my crazy hormones are still raging and my mind is still in overdrive.  I seriously analyze every single little thing I feel which is SO the wrong thing to do.  For example, last time I had NO symptoms during the 2WW and that cycle yielded a BFP.  This cycle, I have had some major, major cramping which began on 4dp5dt.  (I am currently at 9dp5dt.)  Some bad enough (pretty much like AF is right around the corner) that I actually needed to take extra-strength Tylenol.  Other times, just a dull lingering feeling.  Not sure how to feel about this.  I know it can be a positive thing, but I also know that it can be a negative thing.  I also have some tenderness in places that you all can expect, but that is most likely from the daily PIO injections.

So, where do we go from here?  We continue to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  My hormone filled body and mind will continue to go crazy for the next five or more days.  I will apologize in advance to any of you that get to encounter me in person over the next few days.  Expect to see chewed off finger nails and maybe some bald spots from me pulling out my hair.  Oh, and I might be freaking out.  No big deal.  Please send us good vibes, prayers, and baby dust :)

Frozen Transfer

Yesterday began just like any other day.  Construction equipment moving around at the new house across the street starting around 6:30, dogs sitting by the window watching every move the workers make.. and adding an occasional bark, and the beautiful sun shining in my face.  I love being able to watch the sunrise from my bed!  However, it was far from an ordinary day.  

We started with our normal routine.  Feed the dogs, take them out, give Rooney a bath for like the 20th time in the week after he rolls in the mud/mulch/grass, eat breakfast and get ready.  Then, we varied from our normalcy (from the last three months, anyway).  We hopped in the car and headed for Rockville.  Luckily, we were past rush hour time so we hit virtually no traffic.  We made sure to leave in plenty of time so we could grab a quick bite for lunch prior to our appointment at Shady Grove.  Our restaurant of choice?  Five Guys!  

I'd like a little bit of bread and lettuce with my bacon and pickles, please?

Two big, fat greasy sandwiches and a gigantic drink (to fill my bladder) later, it was time to pull into the clinic's parking lot and make our way to the 4th floor - the "surgical" floor.  We arrived around 12:10 and were taken back into the transfer area pretty much immediately.  The nurse reviewed my information, gave us our fashionable booties, and strapped my "hospital" bracelet to my write.  Then we were led to a transfer room - which just so happened to be the same transfer room we were in last time.  The nurse wrote our information on the board, gave me the nice "blanket" and my instructions, and out she went.  The next twenty minutes seemed like an eternity.  Why do they make you sit in those rooms for twenty whole minutes doing absolutely nothing?  Our room was right by the lab, so we could hear them jamming to their music and going about their business - all while I'm wondering how our embryos are looking.

FINALLY, our doctor came in to review our decisions and sign the paper work.  Matt and I had many discussions about the number of embryos we wanted to transfer this time.  We had 14 frosties going into this transfer.  We also had the outcome and answers from our last cycle.  After many conversations, we determined that we wanted to transfer two embryos this cycle.  Yes, there are many risks with this.. but there are also many positives.  We weighed them all and decided this was what we wanted to try.  The doctor told us that our first two embryos thawed perfectly and were beautiful - which they told us last time.  In other words, our two embryos looked great, and we still have twelve waiting for us in the freezer.

Our two beautiful embryos!  Praying for lots of sticky-ness!

The rest of the procedure was exactly the same as last time.  Nurse pushing the sonogram wand on my bladder so the doctor could see what she was doing, the embryologist showing us our embryos on one screen and then brining them into the room, and the doctor using a catheter to gentry transfer them into my uterus while we watch the "flash" on the screen.  Literally, a five minute procedure - if that.   We waited one more minute to make sure everything came out of the catheter ok, and then I had to lay on my back for an additional five minutes.  After that, the discharge nurse came in with my instructions - continue on the same meds/injections - and we were out the door.

My lucky socks from the beautiful Kristen!  My doctor LOVED them!

This time was very different.  I had virtually no pain.  A little cramping with the actual transfer, but that is it.  Last time I had horrible cramping for hours after.  I am blaming that on my huge ovaries at the time.  Last time I was exhausted.  This time, I was not.  Last time bed rest drove me crazy.  This time, I am relaxing and enjoying it.. with Matt and the furry kids by my side.  Oh, and delicious meals in bed from my mother-in-law!

What is the same is that I was and am still a ball of emotions.  I am doing my best to push out the worry and fear and replace it with excitement and positive energy (PMA, as Matt says!).  I am not in control of this, God is.  He has a plan for me.. for us.  This cycle will work out the way He wants it to, and that is something I am doing my best to accept.  I will continue to pray that He blesses us with a successful cycle and full-term pregnancy, and I ask that you all do the same.

Sending a very special Happy Birthday shout-out to one of my favorite girls!

Happy Friday, ya'll!

Weekend Recap

Matt and I spent last week taking a grad class together.  Yes, a class together! haha  It was an iPad course where we learned how to effectively use iPads in our classroom.  Being that I teach technology, I thought it was freaking awesome and learned a lot that I plan to implement this year!  Two thumbs up for Eduspire.

This weekend was another busy one, and as usual, this update is going to include more pictures than you probably want to see.

We had a 5:30 am wake up call Saturday morning.  We jumped in the car and drove to Shady Grove in Rockville for my weekend monitoring appointment.  It was the usual tube of blood, followed by an ultrasound to check the thickness of my uterine lining and to make sure my ovaries weren't acting all crazy or anything.

Nothing but good news!  My ovaries were quiet, as they should be.  My uterine lining measured 9.9mm.. and they are only looking for 8mm.  I am responding very well to the injections - as I did last time.

Twenty minutes later, we were back in the car.  Fast forward two hours and we made a quick stop at our home to pick up the furry kids, and then back on the road with my parent's house as our destination this time.  Another two hours later, we finally arrived at our final destination!  We spent a little bit of time hanging out with the family before getting on the road again.  A couple of hours later.. and yes, you guessed it.. back on the road!  This time, our destination was Anna (my cousin) and Anthony's wedding!  The venue was almost as beautiful as the bride!

My sister's boyfriend and brother's girlfriend couldn't make it.  This is their couples photo!

Sisters

My family

Matt & I

My momma

The bride and groom!  Anna & Anthony

Sending a big congrats to the happy couple and thanking them for a wonderful night!

Now, the "fun" part of the wedding!  The doctor called while we were in the car at some point to let me know that my blood work came back great and gave me the go ahead to start the PIO injections that night.  PIO = Progesterone in Oil.  No big deal, right?  This is only the largest needle I have had to deal with and the first oil based liquid.  Oh, and I would need to get it right in the middle of the wedding reception.  So, I packed up my supplies and my Sharps container in a stylish little bag (that matched my outfit) and off we went.

Needless to say, my nerves were a bit of a mess all night.  I'm not sure what I was scared of. I guess it was the larger needle and the fact that I would be doing this for the first time in my aunt and uncles hotel room.  Yikes.  The time finally arrived and we made the trek to the room.  Matt hiked up my dress, bent me over a chair, and.. (dirty minds, people) gave me my first PIO injection.

Now, the injection itself - not bad at all.  The needle did not hurt, despite the fact that I could feel every part of it in my muscle.  However, the aftermath.. ouch.  My doctor told me to immediately apply heat after the injection for approximately ten minutes.  Easy.  Except tonight.  Remember, I am in a hotel room.  So I tried to heat it with a hot wash cloth, but that did not do the job.  My muscle tensed like it did back when I played sports (anyone that played field hockey knows a little somethin' somethin' about "hockey butt").  A little while later we decided to go home.  I applied heat as soon as we got to my parent's house, but it was too late.  I had one sore muscle that extended all through my leg and hip for a good 24 hours.

A good night's sleep and another two hour drive back to our house later, and it was time for PIO number two PLUS my Del Estrogen shot.  This time we did things a little differently.  I walked around for a few minutes after the injection and immediately applied heat.  What a world of difference those little things make!  The pain was nothing near what I had the night before!

And I had a little friend to help me with the heating!

Overall consensus - not too bad.  Nothing I can't handle and nothing to complain about.  Just something that is added to our every day lives!  And one step closer to our transfer and hopefully BFP.

As far as our transfer - it is scheduled for Thursday.  My nurse will call tomorrow and give us an exact time and tell me that I need to drink enough water to have a full bladder by the time we arrive at the clinic.  Easy-peasy.  After the transfer, I will be on 24 hours (minimum) of bed rest, and I plan on taking full advantage of that since school starts (well, meetings) next week.  

We are hoping and praying this is the one.  Any support and prayers we could get from all of you, would be icing on the cake and more than appreciated.  I am very nervous going in to this transfer considering the outcome of our last cycle.  Worrying.   No other way to describe how I am feeling.  Sigh..  Part of the infertility battle.

I want to end this on a happy note.  A big congrats goes out to my sister/friend Kristen and her husband Chris!  They just had their second beta test with reaffirmed that they are in fact pregnant!  So excited and happy for them!  <3

FET Commence

Our day began with an early morning trip to Shady Grove in Frederick for baseline testing. I had the usual blood work and ultrasound to ensure that everything was looking good for the start of our frozen cycle.

Our nurse called around 3:00 to let us know that everything looked great and we were officially given the go-ahead to begin the injection phase.  A frozen cycle is much different than a fresh cycle.  Yes, there are still injections.  However, these injections are given in your butt muscle.  Yep.. you have to divide your bum into 4 quadrants and the injection is given in one of the top quadrants - alternating every time.  I will only have one monitoring appointment (given everything goes as planned) to check the thickness of my uterine lining (rather than the daily monitoring appointments with a fresh cycle).  The only other appointment will be the actual transfer - which is slated for the middle of August.

Tonight I began the first injection - Del Estrogen.  I inject .2mL every third night from now until our beta test, and possibly even longer.  

These are the supplies we needed for one injection.  Gauze pad for the bleeding (which I did quite a bit), alcohol pad for obvious reasons, the meds, syringe, needle to draw up the solution, and the needle to actually inject.  Luckily, our freaking awesome nurse decided I did not need the gigantic needles for injections, so she gave me a bag full of 1 inch needles rather than the 1.5 inch.  Check out the difference!

 That my not look like much to you, but to my bum it is a lot!

 These are just a couple of other shots from the night.  Don't mind our cool Superman cup in the background :) haha

As far as the injection - I was VERY nervous for this.  I have had a shot of antibiotics in that muscle and have seen my sister get numerous pain medicine injections there as well.  None felt or looked pleasant.  Of course they tell you to just relax the leg on the side you are injecting.  Easy, right?  HA.  I did tense up, but it was not near as bad as I had expected.  No pain with the needle or solution.  I did bleed a little when the needle was withdrawn, but as far as pain - NONE!  My muscle is a little "tight" or sore, but nothing near what the antibiotic did in the past.  So, as of now.. night one is in the books!  Looking forward to number two three days from now.  It is one step closer to holding a baby in our arms someday!

Weekend Recap

Here is a short re-cap of our weekend.. mostly in pictures!

We traveled to my parents Saturday morning and from there we ventures to Knoebel's Amusement Park!  (Look it up if you have never heard of it!)  This place kicks some serious a$$!

Abby (my sister) with her favorite thing!

Andy (my brother) sucking down some dip-n-dots after his first roller coaster ride!

Katie and her unicorn, Snap-Dragon Velvet Nostrils

We then met my parents for dinner when they got back from their trip out west.  Sunday was spent just hanging around the house with family.

My twin.. aka my Mom

These boys are inseparable

My parent's labs, Lucy and Charley Brown

These two cannot get enough of each other!  They are only six weeks apart.

Saturday was a great mail day.. Thank you, Stacy!

And finally, Sunday was my last BC pill before our ultrasound and next round of shots!  Couldn't be more ready!

Happy Monday, Everyone!

Beautiful Day for Fed-Ex

Let me just start this post by telling you that I am currently sitting on my kick-ass patio watching the dogs frolic in the yard.. and it is 70 degrees.  Yes.  July 24th and it is 70 degrees.  And my windows are open, curtains blowing in the breeze!  I know this is a just mother nature teasing me with little bits and pieces of my favorite season.

Thanks, Tony!  It rocks!

Now.. if only the yard were finished.  One can only dream!

I.Like.LOVE.Fall.  Don't get me wrong.  I like summer, too.  I love being able to spend time with my husband, our dogs, and our families and friends, as well as travel.  But weather wise, fall is by far my favorite.  I love sitting at Friday night football games in my jeans and hoody, sipping hot chocolate, hanging out with our favorite people around the campfire, hunting season, and pumpkins.  And corn stalks.  And Halloween candy.  Oh, and back to school.  Not to mention, it is the season leading up to my favorite time of year.. the holidays!  Ahh, can you tell I am excited?  I have been a Fall-pinning Pinterest whore for almost two weeks now!

Anyway, now to the main reason for my post.  Fed-Ex stopped by our house today!  Why is this so exciting you ask?  Because they dropped off my next round of injections!  *Insert cartwheels and pom poms here.. and maybe a toe-touch or two.  Disclaimer - I was never a cheerleader*

The box was drastically smaller than the box that housed my fresh cycle meds.  But none the less, this guy was filled with joyful things!  Never EVER in my life would I have ever dreamt I would be excited to receive long syringes (that will eventually make their way into my bum muscle) and hormones in the mail.  Ahh, the life of an infertile!  But today, I was excited!

That Sharps container sure will spruce up my countertops!

All joking aside, this is huge.  This means we are one step closer to our next transfer and that we are well into our frozen cycle.  My feelings and emotions are so much different this time around.  I feel more at peace with everything.  I know this cycle will go however God wants it to go and that I will have no control.  I am much more relaxed and my anxiety levels are drastically lower.  Now, ask me how I feel during the 2ww that will follow this transfer, and my relaxation and anxiety levels may will be very different.  But, as of now, I am ready.  Very ready.  I am.. excited!

I am still not sure how we are going to handle the results of this cycle.  Last time we told all.  We were very open with our family, close friends, IF community, and blog followers.  I'd like to do things similar this time, but not exactly the same.  However, given the outcome of our last cycle, we will decide what is right for us at the time.  We are pretty open about infertility struggles and cycles, but have not made it "Facebook official" yet.  I haven't found it to be the right time.  There are still some people that I am just not ready to have that discussion with.  I know I will, in time.  With most anyway.  An IG friend posted this the other day, and I found it to be absolutely PERFECT.

"From the outside looking in, you can never understand it.  

From the inside out looking out, you can never explain it."

So, so true.  To my IF sisters.. keep fighting the fight.  You are all rockstars in my mind!  To those of you lucky enough (and I use the term "lucky" loosely.. I am thankful for this path we have had to travel because it has not only taught us so many things about ourselves and others, but brought us even closer to each other, has allowed me to connect with so many awesome new friends, and has made us appreciate each and every little thing we do have.) to not travel this path, we ask for your prayers, a sense of understanding, and no judgment on us or our individual situations.  Prayer can do powerful things and we appreciate each and every one we get. 

Happy Hump Day!  Keep on Keeping On!  (That one is for you, Andy!)  Time to go in the house and get these two lazies back out in the yard!

Yes, Rooney is chilling in his crate!