Pumpkin patch

We finally had a weekend that wasn't 100% planned out!  First time in a long time.  We took advantage of the time and spent Saturday morning at a local pumpkin patch.  We brought a few pounds of pumpkins home with us, as well as some beautiful mums, and even two watermelons.  We had a great time taking Hudson around the kids area - even though he is really too small to truly enjoy it.  Regardless, it made for great photo opportunities!

Hudson is quite a ham these days with his many faces and smiles.  He was not a fan of the pumpkin wagon, as the pumpkins were still wet with morning dew and chilly from the overnight temperatures.  Of course, Matt had to get a few comical poses in there as well! 

After our visit to the patch, we decided to head a bit north to visit Matt's sister and her family.  We had a nice lunch with the family and spent the afternoon watching our nephews' soccer games and hanging out with our nieces.  We even had some time after the games to visit before making the return trip.  We also decided we needed to make an imperative pit stop at the Disney store while we were in town.  Hudson LOVES Mickey Mouse Club House.  Now, I know you are probably asking, 'How do you know.. he's too little?'.  I know because every single time that show comes on, he goes from his normal self to a crazy, excited little boy!  He kicks his little legs like crazy and literally coos and laughs out loud.  It is so fun to see!  So, we decided that Hudson needed a Mickey of his own!  And just as I predicted, he LOVES it!

I cannot get over this cuteness.

Finally, it was time to head home to relieve the pups.  Hudson had to make a wardrobe change to cheer on Daddy's favorite team - eww.  (Mommy reluctantly put him in this outfit.)

 Hudson also learned a new trick this weekend.

Not only are his fingers constantly in his mouth, now his toys are, too!

We really did have a wonderful weekend filled with family time.  I was sad to see it come to an end.

However, Monday started out with some beautiful scenery.  I love the sunrises and sunsets we get to experience with living in a country setting.

And Monday also brought a birthday celebration for our girl!  Happy 5th Birthday, Sophie!  We love you!

Working Mom

As of this past Monday, that's me.  I am officially a working mom.  I am not going to lie, it is challenging and has been a huge adjustment.

As I wrap up my first official week of work, I can't help but to have some thoughts and experiences to reflect on.

My new schedule consists of my alarm sounding off at 5:00 am.  I get myself ready.  I then pack Hudson's bottles and last minute things into his bag.  I pack my lunch and get my gigantic water bottle ready for the day.  I pack my school bag.  I load everything in my car.  I (usually have to wake up) get Hudson up.  Change him, dress him, sit with him in my arms for a few minutes.  I load him into the car seat.  Matt puts him in my car.  We are on the road to the sitter by 6:55 am.  I drop him off and am out of her house (we chit chat for a few minutes) and am on the road to work by 7:15.. accompanied by some tears.  I arrive at work no later than 7:30 as most of my mornings consist of meetings from 7:35-8:10.  I teach from 8:20-3:15.  I am lucky enough to have my sitter drop Hudson off to me by 4:00 pm each day.  If she doesn't drop him off, Matt or I are at her house by 4:00 to get him.  We get home, change and do our daily run or work out. (I have started a Couch to 5K program.. more on that in another post.)  Then it's time to feed Hudson his dinner and make ours.  We eat, clean up, and bathe Hudson.  I make bottles and prepare his things for the next day.  And at 8:00 pm I finally sit down and snuggle with my boy until 9:00 pm when it's time for his bedtime bottle.  And then we all crash.  And at 5:00 am it starts all over again.  

Oh, and somewhere in there I go to the bathroom.  I forget to do that now that I am at work.  That is seriously one of the most difficult things about being a teacher.  You can't just leave your room to go anytime you want.. you have to plan that stuff!  Six minutes between periods?  Ok, I think I can sprint down the hall to the bathroom, do my biz, and get back by the time the next class starts.  The struggle is real, folks.  The struggle.is.real.  And lunch.. inhaling lunch in twenty minutes tops.  Teachers are really professional speed eaters.  Just watch one eat sometime and you will see what I mean.

It is hectic, and I am totally exhausted this week, but it is working.  I know I will be completely adjusted within a few weeks, but it is definitely going to take time.

As I sit here typing this, I just remembered that I forgot to get something out for dinner tonight.  Fail.  See?  I am still adjusting. 

So, some things I have learned during this week.

• Get everything possible ready the night before.  Because when morning rolls around, you either won't want to do it or won't have time.

• Buy good dark spot concealer.  This momma has gigantic bags under her eyes.  I found some good under eye concealer.  Albeit a little pricey, totally worth it.

• Pack extra of everything for baby.  Hudson has decided that this week was perfect timing for up-the-back blow-outs and huge spit-ups.  We upped him a diaper size (2's already.  Cue ugly crying here.).  The first two days he went through a total of five outfits.  Yikes.  Sorry, my dear sitter.  Also, he decided to apparently have a growth spurt this week and eat like a horse.  So glad I threw that extra packet of formula and bottle of water in his bag so she could feed him when hungry.  Time for cereal soon?  Good possibility!

• Pack extra shoes for momma.  I haven't worn real shoes since I was six months pregnant.. when my feet no longer fit into anything but flip flops.  That was seven months ago.  To say my feet are covered in blisters is an understatement.  I'm trying.  I am.  But my feet welcomed the ability to wear sneakers on our spirit day today.  Thank you, admin.  Thank you.

• Just know that you are going to be late.  On more than one occasion.  And be ok with it.  And I am.  I can already tell it's going to happen.  I just need to remember to go with the flow and that it will all work out.  My schedule-minded self may have a mini panic attack the first time it happens, but I will undoubtedly get over it!

• Make a menu.  We have always had a dinner menu, but now I realize just how important it really is.  If I don't have that menu, I forget to get something out for dinner.  And then we play the game of "what do you want for dinner?"  "I don't care, what do you want?"  And then we eat some sort of unhealthy fast food.  Menu is key.

• Pick your clothes out the night before.  This is incredibly important right now.  I still have 20 pounds of baby weight to lose.  I am struggling with my appearance and weight.  None of my normal clothes fit, so I had to go on a shopping spree with my mom over the weekend.  Right now, if I don't pick out my clothes the night before, I literally will spend twenty minutes in my closet trying on things only to realize they don't fit.  Then my self-esteem floats right out of my closet window (yes, we have one.. it's weird) and I end up putting on something that makes me feel like total crap.  This also entails checking the weather every night to have some sort of idea what it's going to be like the following few days.  Granted, the weather man is generally wrong, but you get an idea.

• Buy waterproof mascara.  I cried before I walked out of the door Monday morning.  I cried the whole way to the sitters.  I kept my composure at her house.  I cried on the way to school.  I cried every time a co-worker asked about Hudson.  I cried happy tears when I got to see him!

• Get ready to answer stupid questions.  "Do you miss your baby?"  Are you people for real right now? While your thoughtfulness is appreciated, it's like a total no brainer.  No shit.  Of course I miss my son (that I have spent the last twelve weeks 24/7 with)!  A better question might be, "How are you doing?"  "Do you need anything?"  Or just give me a hug and/or tell me you know what I'm going through and that it will be ok.

• Make sure you are more than happy with your day-care arrangements.  Believe it or not, it does make things just a little bit easier.  I got Hudson on Monday and she told me about his blow-outs.  And she washed his clothes.  She literally did his laundry.  And washed his bottles for me.  Way more than I could have expected.  They go for walks, they run errands, they play outside, they play inside, they watch Disney.  I get a full run-down at the end of the day.  I get pictures via text message any time I want.  He is out of his car seat and in her hands before I leave every minute.  She tells me how awesome and cute he is daily.  Her own kids flock to Hudson the minute I walk in the door each morning.  So far, I am love-love-loving her.  

• I have some pretty amazing family members, co-workers, and friends.  The amount of cards, flowers, text messages, phone calls, candy, stuffed animals for Hudson and Starbucks drinks that I received upon my return is incredible.  These people are truly Godsends in my life and knew just how to pick me up when I was down.  And feeling crappy about having to be a working mom.  Thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.  Your kindness will not ever be forgotten.

The best part of my day is seeing Hudson when he is either delivered to me or I pick him up.  Hearing about all of his experiences throughout the day and being told he is an excellent little boy is the icing on the cake.  His immediate smile makes all of the pain and heart break of leaving him go away.  He still loves me.  And he still knows I am his mommy.  And that means the world to me.  While I wish more than anything that I could be home with him, I am comforted by the fact that he is being well taken care of during the day.  And even though he is only thirteen weeks old, he is making friends with the other two kiddos there as well.

And yes, I just said that Hudson is thirteen weeks.  Where has the time gone?  It sure does fly when you are having fun.  And when you want your baby to stay a baby forever.

TGIF everyone.  We are giving Hudson his first Mustang football experience tonight at the Corral!

Catch-Up

It's really been almost a month since I updated?  Time really does fly when you are having fun :)

We have been quite busy over these last few weeks.  Not only did Matt go back to work, leaving me home alone with Hudson, but we had a baptism and wedding as well!

Hudson is growing like a weed.  Seriously.  He is well over 12 pounds at this point and length wise, is growing out of his 3 month sleepers.  His little cheeks have filled out and are quite chubby.  We will save the rest for his three month update sometime next week.

A little re-cap of the last few weeks.

Matt went back to work.  I became a short-term stay at home mom.  And I love it.  Hudson, the dogs and I had four full weeks at home.  We spent a lot of time cuddling, napping in mommy's arms, playing with toys, giving our house a good cleaning, and just spending as much time together as possible.  Sadly, I go back to work on Monday.  I am not at all looking forward to leaving my baby boy.  I wish more than anything that I could stay at home with him full time, but it just isn't in the cards for us.  I am ok with it and know that he will benefit from interacting with the two other kids at his sitters.  But it's still hard.  I'll give a full update on that once I am back at it.

In big news.. Hudson was baptized on August 31st!  We decided to have him baptized in my home church since that is the church we attend most of the time.  It was a beautiful service.  Most of our family was able to attend and celebrate this joyous event.  Hudson was a champ.  He didn't fuss until the second pour (our church does 3 pours) and then it turned in to a full on scream by the end of the third!  However, he only cried for literally two minutes and then he was over it.  Our preacher uses a sea shell to pour the water on the baby's head and we were able to choose our own shell.  We actually used one from one of our annual trips to the Outer Banks, which made it even more special.  

Following the service, we had a get-together at my parents house where we had enough food to feed the entire town.  Again, we had so much fun celebrating our little guy.  

The beautiful flowers my mom had placed at the alter.

Hudson and his sponsors.

Godparents.

My family.

Matt's family.

All of the cousins.

The excitement was just too much for this guy.

Sleeping with Great Grandpa.

The following weekend we were back in Kreamer to attend one of my friend's beautiful wedding.  It was a gorgeous outdoor ceremony and reception.  We managed to power through a gigantic thunderstorm and tornado warning under the reception tent while eating the delicious food!  Congrats, DeKen and Gretchen.. we are so happy for you!

Here is the shortened back story with this photo.. additional blog post to follow.  This was my first day of no pumping.  Holy engorgement and pain.  I removed the cabbage leaves and iced the girls in the truck on the way to the wedding.  Pure class right there ladies and gents!

The only picture of the happy couple.  I suck.

Obvious wedding necessities.  Tissues and cold medicine for my cold.  And breast pads.  Lots of breast pads.

What do you do when there is a tornado spotted near the wedding and you are in a tent?  You take pictures, of course!

Love the little details.

Just a few of the exciting things that happened over the last couple of weeks.  I promise to try and not go so long between updates next time.

Can you believe my little man will be 12 weeks old tomorrow?  Gah.  I can't!

Month Two

Did I really just type month two up there?  Wow.  Time really is flying.  I can't believe my sweet little boy is two months old already!  I absolutely love watching him develop and change daily.  Oh.. and grow!  As much as I don't want him to grow up, it is amazing how quickly he is doing so.

This month Hudson has gained three pounds (at least.. we go to the doctor in a few days) and grown about two inches.  He now responds to Matt and my voices and will turn his head in our direction if we are not holding him.  He responds to us with smiles.. which melts my heart about a hundred times daily.  Hudson loves toys that make noise and will follow them from side to side.  He loves his play mat and has started batting at the hanging bees.  The swing had to move up a notch in speed because level one is just too boring for him now!  His head control is awesome.  We have sat him in his gumbo chair a few times and he is so close to being able to hold he head completely!  He still hates tummy time, but we push through each day.

Hudson is still sleeping well.  He sleeps in his crib and wakes up one time in the middle of the night - about six hours after he is put down.  I'll gladly take a six hour stretch of sleep followed by another three to four after that feeding.  I'm still a crazy monitor watcher, but hey.. I think I'm allowed!  He is on a breakfast-lunch-dinner-bedtime bottle schedule and is eating six ounces at each feeding.  He has officially grown out of all of his newborn clothes and is rocking everything three months.  Insert tears here.  I cried when I packed up his newborn stuff.  How is this possible already?  Slow down, baby boy!

I am loving each and every second with this little miracle and cannot wait to see what the next month has in store for us.  I love you, Hudson!

Here are some of my favorite pictures from month two!  (minus beach and other vacay pics that you've already seen)

Favorite things part Two

It's time for round two of my current favorite things!

1.  Very Bradley Throw Blanket - I don't have much to say about this other than it is incredibly soft and super comfortable.  Perfect for those baby cuddle sessions on the couch and the occasional momma naps.

2.  Baby Camo.  Yep.  So in love with this trend!  I would be lying if I said Hudson didn't already have three camo outfits for the upcoming season.  Just so stinking cute!

3.  Groupon and their canvas sales.  I love Groupon.  I bought these four (plus another) canvas prints from the CafePress deal.  I was so thrilled with how they turned out, that I actually just purchased another voucher for two additional canvases.  These particular (and those I just purchased) are 16 x 20.  The original cost is $109.99, but the Groupon deal is $24.99 plus free shipping.  Yes, please!  My house may be filled with canvas prints of Hudson before he is a year old!

4.  Gumdrop Pacifiers.  The hospital gave us this brand and Hudson has refused any other pacifier since.  We ordered a five pack from Amazon and they are perfect!  He doesn't rely on the bink, but it is a total soother when he is fussy.  

5.  Goody no slip hair ties. Let's be honest.  My hair is up every single day.  These things have a thin strip of rubber on the outside that keeps them from slipping out of your hair.  Especially perfect for those days when I don't have time to wash my hair and it is a big fat grease pit.  (That's where the dry shampoo from my last post comes into play!)

6.  The Owlphabet.  This print is so cute!  I purchased it off of Etsy and have it sitting on a shelf in Hudson's room.  It came in three versions - boy, girl neutral. 

7.  Dr. Brown's Bottles.  We started using Medela bottles, but found that Hudson was getting a lot of air and ended up being more gassy than not.  These bottles came to the rescue.  While there are many more parts to wash, it is totally worth it.  The insert prevents air from getting into baby and thus eliminates a lot of gas.  He has been much happier, burps less and spits up much less.  I would definitely recommend these to anyone!

8.  Dr. Brown's Bottle Warmer.  Again, I exclusively pump and Hudson is 100% bottle fed.  We thought we could tough it out and just sit the bottle in hot water to heat it up.  Wrong.  BIG HUGE WRONG.  After a recommendation from a friend, we broke down and ordered the bottle warmer.  LOVE.  LIFE SAVER.  It takes 2:50 to heat up our glass bottles and 3:55 to heat up the plastic bottles.  That means pop in the bottle, change the diaper, and viola.. bottle is ready to go!  So totally worth it.

9.  Sophie and Rooney.  Do these two even need words?  They are just awesome.  They have been great with Hudson despite the fact that their human play time has decreased.  They walk perfectly on the double leash when we go for family walks.  They cuddle with Hudson and us.  Their temperament is just perfect.  I love these two to death!

10.  Asics Running Shoes.  As of Friday, I have been fully cleared to exercise as much as I want and can handle.  I still have some pulling and pain at one part of my stomach from the internal stitches, so I have to watch that.  I have about 16-20 more pounds that I'd like to lose, so exercise it is.  I have been watching my diet, but not too much since I am still pumping.  We have started walking every day and I think that is helping.  My plan is to start incorporating some running in with that walking - even though I despise running.  These are the most comfortable running shoes I have ever had and my news ones are not disappointing!

Today officially marked the end of summer as Matt went back to school.  Luckily, I have four more weeks of maternity leave left and didn't have to go back today.  However, I have these two "funnies" to share for all of my teacher friends!  Happy beginning of "fall", but sad end of summer.  

Real talk - breastfeeding

First and foremost - before I even start this post - let me say that this post is based solely off of my personal experiences and opinions/beliefs.  I am not knocking anyone else's opinions or preferences or saying theirs are wrong.  To each their own.  Also, I am not complaining.. just getting my feelings out there in the open.  With that being said, here we go.

If you read my birth story and one month recap, you know that I am breastfeeding exclusively pumping for two reasons.  One - I didn't produce anything for the entire first week after I gave birth.  Two - Hudson could care less about latching.  After pumping literally every two hours for about a week, the girls finally decided to do their job.  Too little, too late.

Hudson is 7.5 weeks old.  For the past 6.5 weeks I have been pumping around the clock.  I started out with eight sessions a day.  I would get about 3 total ounces at each of those sessions.  Talk about a let down.  Then I cut it back to six times a day - 15 minuets each session - producing 4 to 5 ounces total.  What does this mean?  Matt fed Hudson at every feeding while I sat and watched from the couch.. hooked up to the milk machine.  Talk about sucky on my part.

Currently, I pump on average four times a day for approximately fifteen minutes each time.  I get between 7 to 9 ounces total at each session.  Not bad, but not great.  Hudson's bottles are half breast milk and half formula, which allows me to freeze some so he can continue to get small amounts of breast milk for a longer period of time.  I hope.

So.. how do I really feel about all of this?  Honestly, downright crappy and tired of it.  I am ready to cut my sessions back to two to three per day and be completely done by the day I go back to work full time in a few weeks.  If you would have asked me three years ago if I planned on breastfeeding, I would have said no. I had no desire.  But, I changed my mind when I got pregnant with Hudson.  Sure, I'll give it a try.. breast is best right?  *Is it really?  I was formula fed and I like to think I turned out just the same as any breastfed kid.*  And I have tried with all that I have.

Have your ever seen those ads for the hands free pumping bra devices?  The pretty lady is wearing career clothing and typing on her computer with her glasses in one hand and a big, seductive smile on her face.  I call bullshit.  Who in the hell is that happy while having two suction cups squeezing the shit out of their ta tas?  And I'm pretty sure no man finds that seductive look attractive while you are hooked up to that machine.  No one that I know!  Every time I hook myself up to that damn pump, I feel like a freaking cow being milked by one of those cow-milking machines.  Sexy, right?  And the sound it makes.  Totally a turn on.  It is not enjoyable.  In fact, I feel like I am missing out.  While I do get to do one or two feedings a day, I get to watch the rest from afar while I feel like my insides are going to be sucked out by those funnel cups!  (Don't know what I'm talking about?  Google photos of pump parts.  It'll make you want to buy your own and hook those babies up as much as you can!  I'm still trying to get Matt to try it!)  

I feel like I have spent the last 7.5 weeks stressing over pumping and my milk supply.  Should I pump more?  Should I drink gatorade?  Should I chug a gallon of water right before I pump?  Would it help if I extend the time of my sessions.  Should I take more than the recommended amount of Fenugreek per day?  Speaking of Fenugreek.  Anyone ever take that?  Or smell it?  It smells like maple syrup.  Like too much maple syrup doused over a single pancake.  To the point where my urine smells like maple syrup.  But hey, it increases supply, right?  I literally get mad at myself if I don't get at least 7 ounces in a session.  It's a let down.

I want what is best for my son.  But is pumping while he sits in his swing and cries for me what is really best for him?  Not so sure about that one.  Right now, it is so much more frustrating than anything.  Yet I still obsess with making enough to supply his current bottles AND add to my freezer stash.  It's like a sick freaking disease!

Oh.. then to top it all off.. yesterday I dropped an entire 5 ounce bag of breast milk all over my kitchen counter, cabinets and floor.  Whoever created the phrase, "No use crying over spilled milk" obviously never had breast feeding issues and spilled 5 ounces all over their floor.  I'm telling you, in my situation (and many others, I'm sure), that stuff is like pure liquid gold.  You savor every tenth of an ounce that you can.  Five freaking ounces down the drain.  Almost 15 minutes of my life wasted! AHHHHHH!

On top of all of this, let's add in the pain I have.  And the cracking.  And the soreness.  It just plain sucks.  My boobs hurt 99% of the time.  I have used Lanolin creams.  I have even been using this prescription cocktail ointment that my doctor called in.  You remember, the one that I had to drive thirty minutes one way to pick up because only one pharmacy will make it.  That hasn't helped either.  I have tried every remedy recommended to me.  I only turn my pump on half strength.  It.doesn't.matter.

Is it all worth it?  It is if it helps Hudson.  If it is in fact what is best for him.  While I do see the benefits, I also think me being able to console him when he's upset and I am home alone is a bigger benefit.  Will I try again if we have additional children in the future?  I will try to breastfeed.  If things start out the same way, then formula it will be.  I don't care what other people think.  I see the looks I get when I prepare a formula bottle for my son in public.  It's very easy to judge (all around.. with everything) when you've never been on the other side of the fence.  You know, sort of like infertility as a whole.  But we will save that for another post.  You know what's great about bottle feeding?  My son is on a schedule.  He has a breakfast bottle, a lunch bottle, dinner bottle, bedtime bottle, and ONE middle of the night bottle.  He naps in between breakfast and lunch and a little between lunch and dinner.  He goes on average five hours between feedings.  Give or take a half hour.  I know exactly how much food he gets each time - between 5 and 6 ounces per feeing right now. I know he is getting enough.  I know he is satisfied.  And he is growing like crazy!  And he's healthy!

And to those who swear that nursing just "drops the baby weight off of you".. I call bullshit again!  I'm still sitting here almost 8 weeks later with 25 more pounds and a big old belly to lose!  I could care less, but just sayin'.

I know this post is long, so I will end my rant now.  Sorry.  Just had to get it off of my chest!  Oh, and I think I am about to get my first post-partum period.  Jumping for joy over here.  Maybe that is why I'm currently so bi*chy over this subject!  (Because ya know, you don't get a period when you are breast feeding or pumping.. they SAY.)  Every kid has the same chances in life whether they are breastfed or formula fed. Every mom and family knows what is best for them and no one should be quick to judge.  I am tired of feeling like a cow, but I am still going to push on for a few more weeks for my son's benefit.  

Happy Shark Week Everyone!  I hope you all get your fill of JAWS this week!  And don't take a leisurely swim in those uncharted waters.  Do do.  Do do.  That's my JAWS music.

OBX 2014

Less than a week after we returned from Boston, we loaded up the truck and made our annual trip south to the Outer Banks, NC.  Our normal drive is about 6.5-7 hours one way. This year, traffic was horrendous.  Our trip down took almost 11 hours.  Hudson was an absolute trooper.  We stopped twice for him to eat and have a diaper change.  He slept almost the entire way and was content when he was awake.  I ended up having to sit in the back seat for the last three hours so I could entertain him, but he still did great!

We had a lot of fun this year!  We spent the first rainy day doing some shopping for the little guy and had dinner at the Outer Banks Brewing Station.  Day two was still a bit rainy, so we hung around the house and did some shopping around town.

Days 3, 4, 5 and 6 were beautiful!  We spent most of those days on the beach, with a break for the pool on day 3 when it was literally 95 degrees with 98% humidity.  Again, Hudson was awesome.  He hung out in his little tent under and umbrella while we were at the beach.  He ate a few meals in my beach chair as well.  He got his feet in the sand and ocean and was dipped in the pool.  He seemed to enjoy all three!  Of course, the shock of the water the first time for both was a little surprising, but after that initial shock, he was totally into it.  I literally took 500 pictures on this trip, but promise not to share them all with you.  I am going to share my favorites - which are still probably more than you care to see.  Regardless, here you go!

I know, I know.  A few too many pictures.  But our week was too great not to document!  

This is a pretty big week for us.  We both have to prepare our classrooms for the upcoming school year - which starts next week.  While I am not going back immediately, I still need to unpack my new classroom and prepare plans for my substitute.  I also have my 8 week PP appointment this week and am hoping to be released to start doing some exercise.  I've got about 20-25 more pounds to lose and in a fantasy world, I'd like to fit into my work clothes by the time I go back in 5 weeks.  Like I said, fantasy!  This week also brings major meal planning for the first couple months of school.  I am putting together about twenty frozen crock pot meals today - after my major grocery haul yesterday.  I'm hoping this will alleviate some stress once I am back full time.  Oh, and boo to going back full time.  But, it is what it is and works for us, so it's all good.

Happy Monday, all! (oxymoron, I know.)