I have a secret.

A pretty really big secret.  A secret that has not been easy to keep, but one that needed to be kept for various reasons.  I am sure how to exactly word this post, so here goes my best shot.

We have cycled.  A frozen cycle.  There.  I said it.

We are not ready to share the details or outcome of this cycle.  Yet.  That will come down the road.  I hope.

Why did I (we) decide to keep this one a "secret"?  There are a couple of reasons.  Our last two cycles have ended in failure.  Different types, but still failure.  I did not have it in me to share and explain even more negative news.  The mental exhaustion that comes from infertility is insane.  I didn't want to add to it.  I couldn't add to it.  The end of my rope was near.  

Matt and I also decided we wanted to feel more "normal" with this cycle.  If we were able to conceive normally (how nice that would be..), we wouldn't be openly sharing until we felt we were in the "safe zone".  (If there really is a safe zone.)  We also decided we wanted to keep this between us.  More privacy, I guess.  We just didn't have the energy to do another tell-all.  Does that even make sense?

And last, but not least, throw in all of the fear, anxiety, and ever other emotion involved with this process and you have one majorly crazy person.  I did not want to spread my craziness to others or bring others down, or even hurt others by sharing every little detail.  I know what it's like to be on both sides of the fence, so to me, it was best to just keep it between us.

So, there you have it.  We completed a second (third total) frozen cycle.  I will share more details when the time is right.

Until then, I hope you all enjoy the holiday festivities throughout the coming days and have a very Merry Christmas!