Rolling Hills and Some Ranting

This two week wait is quite the emotional roller coaster.  Actually, I don't like the roller coaster analogy.  Let's go with rolling hills.  A week of traveling through peaks and valleys. 

I have not posted the last few days for various reasons.. the main one being saying something I shouldn't.  I teach my kids daily that what you post online stays with you for the rest of your life.. so I'm trying to walk the walk!

You may want to skip the next couple of paragraphs, unless you want to read my ranting and venting.

Needless to say, some people (I will keep specific names out of it) have been, oh let's say testing my patience and ability to keep my mouth shut quite a bit lately.  I am not good at these things to begin with.  Throw in some a lot of fertility drugs and hormones, and you can go ahead and say these people are just plain lucky that I did not let them know how I felt right then and there.  As a result, I dedicate this part of my post to them.  The people who have no clue and think I need to hear their "advice".  I'm sure many of you have experienced the same type of thing.




Matt must be noticing my hormones because he sent me this earlier in the week

I had someone come up to me last week and ask how I was feeling.  Nice gesture, right?  I thought so, too.  I responded with "feeling pretty good, but exhausted".  I am a full time high school teacher, girls lacrosse coach (in the intense part of our season.. 3+ games a week and practices the other days), dealing with some family things (my Grandmother who I am very close with is losing her battle with pancreatic cancer), and at that time I had been traveling to our clinic (over an hour away) pretty much every day or every other day.  I think I am allowed to say I am exhausted.  Anyway, this person's response was, "I don't know why you didn't just wait until the end of the school year."  Really?  Wait longer?  I know we only started this process about a year ago, and that is nothing compared to some others.  But, you want me to wait longer?  Now, what I really wanted to say was a few explectivies and a big screw you.  But I held my breath for a few seconds (because honestly, I feel bad for this person and their ignorance) and politely said that this was the path we chose and what worked for us.. and walked away.  Damn, I'm getting good at this keep your mouth shut thing (no yellow cards for 2 full weeks!).   

I know I posted this before, but it is worth a repost!

I am also getting tired of the "relax and it will just happen" advice.  Yes, that is nice to say, and I thank you for caring and trying.  Yes, it will happen when God wants it to.  But for the love people.. it will NOT "just happen" as a result of me "relaxing".  Medical tests and results have told us just the opposite.  We have to pay a babymaker for it to happen.  His name is Dr. Bromer.  And we like him.  He has an IVF baby, too!  And we have accepted this fact.

The concludes the portion of this post that consists of venting and just plain bit*hing.  If I offended anyone, I am sorry.. sort of.  These are my feelings and I have every right to communicate them.  I am sorry if you don't like them. :)

Anyway, let's talk about this two week wait and the hell that it is.  It feels like two months, not week.  When I say hell, I mean the waiting.  The unknown.  It is driving me absolutely crazy.  I just want to know.  *Keep in mind, patience is not my best asset.*  I know the doctor said no home pregnancy tests.  However, I couldn't help myself.  I have tested.  I know, I am bad.  But I needed to feel some sort of control in this situation.  I am not going to share the results because they may very well not be accurate and I don't want to lean one way or the other.  I want the results of the blood test first.  Once we have that and are ready, we will share our results with everyone.  Ahh, Friday.. please hurry!

I can say things have felt odd the last week and a half.  It is weird not to have daily injections.  Not to have to drive to Frederick or Rockville every day or every other day.  These things had become part of our daily routine.  They had become normal to us.  The weirdest thing is working a full, five day week!  I haven't done that since the beginning of March. 

This weekend we are able to spend some time with family and do some much needed yard work at our house.  It was nice to get away and get things off of my mind for awhile!

On Saturday, we traveled to Penn State to attend a luncheon for Matt's cousin's graduation.  It was nice to see family that we are not able to see very often.  We then traveled to where I grew up to spend some time with my Grandma.  We spent the afternoon on her porch with her listening to stories from her life.  It was nice to see her happy and feeling a little more upbeat.  We finally headed back home to rescue our pups and pretty much crash for the night.

Sunday was project day.  We built our house and moved in two days before Thanksgiving this past year.  Our grass is anything but grass in most places and our landscaping was non-existent.  I had picked up some flowers from the Amish greenhouses by my parent's on Saturday.  We got up early (thanks to Rooney) and headed to Lowes.  We needed to replace our electric weed-eater (not really sufficient for our new 3.5 acres of land), and get a few more things including patio furniture for our soon-to-be-finished back patio. 

Here are a few before pictures:

Ignore the sheet.. we are working on painting the chairs as well!

Matt ended up raking rocks from our yard and tearing up the dirt where the grass did not grow so we can re-plant.  I planted flowers.  We still need some shrubs and have a way to go, but here is what we have so far.

And our helpers for the day.. (sorry, I am a bit obsessed with our dogs)

Anyway, I apologize for the rambling.  It's my way of getting through this wait!  We are officially 10dp5dt (10 days past 5 day transfer) and we only have 3 more to go.  Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and support thoughout this entire process.  We couldn't ask for better family and friends!

And last but not least, since it is Teacher Appreciation Day (week), and Matt and I are both teachers, I will leave you with some sarcasm and humor!

Happy Tuesday!